


Whispers of Memories & Promises Forgotten

by Snowfall



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: M/M, YOAI, m/m - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-19
Updated: 2011-02-19
Packaged: 2017-10-15 18:38:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/163721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snowfall/pseuds/Snowfall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Complete! Forbidden trysts bring punishment and false hatred between two brothers who had once loved each other.  Sesshoumaru decides to take a risk and break the spell that had bound & buried Inuyasha’s memories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Whispers of Memories & Promises Forgotten

~*~

 

**Chapter One**

**_Whispers of Memories and Promises Forgotten_ **

 

“You promised never to forget,” whispered the tall, regal, demon lord while he knelt beside the sleeping hanyou, his breath tickling the white tuft of Inuyasha’s right puppy ear. “You promised, Inuyasha.”

Sesshoumaru gazed at the sleeping form of his half brother, the one he had shown so much hatred toward for the majority of the boy’s life. At least, in Inuyasha’s memory. And that was the tickler wasn’t it? Inuyasha’s memory.

Inuyasha appeared so docile in his sleep, an innocent man-child, his little brother, his…one-time lover. _‘I have missed you more than I realized,’_ he admitted, if only to himself.

The figure clothed in red was half hidden by his long, thick, white mane. Untamed bangs half covered his face, hiding his eyes. Triangular, fur-covered ears gave away the fact that he was hanyou, half human and half demon. After all of this time, Sesshoumaru still found them fascinating.

Sesshoumaru gazed at Inuyasha’s less than perfect claws. Despite being a half-breed, Inuyasha had proven himself a strong and worthy opponent, as witnessed by their many battles, and by Sesshoumaru’s missing left arm. The boy had grown up, no longer a child. Sesshoumaru carefully plucked the bangs away from Inuyasha’s face then ran the back of his index finger along his brother’s left cheek. _‘You’re still so soft, even after all of these years, Inuyasha.’_

“You promised, my beautiful one,” Sesshoumaru whispered close to Inuyasha’s ear once more then disappeared into the night as though he were only a wisp of smoke from the campfire.

Inuyasha woke with a start, eyes darting about. There was no sign of his half brother, Sesshoumaru, but the scent lingered.

_‘He was here, damn it. What does he want? Night after night, when I can’t hold my eyes open anymore, he whispers the same thing. What the hell does he mean, “You promised”? What am I supposed to remember? Bastard.’_

And each time he failed to stay awake, it was the same thing. _‘Why can’t I stay awake? Did Sesshoumaru put a fucking spell on me or something?’_ Beneath the tree at the edge of the campsite, Inuyasha sleepily clambered from his resting place. Everyone in their small group of misfits was still sleeping. It was the perfect opportunity to take a walk and clear his befuddled mind.

_‘He’s such an ass. Why doesn’t he just come right out and talk to me? I guess that’s just beneath him. He wouldn’t want anyone seeing him talk to the dirty hanyou now, would he? Why would he do this? Did I make some promise to him? Yeah, right. Like I would ever do something that stupid,’_ he groused inside his head.

With no thought at all to where his feet were taking him, Inuyasha ended up at the hot spring.

_‘A nice soak. Yeah, maybe then I can sleep deep enough that I can’t hear the bastard...promised him something. Hah!’_

While Inuyasha peeled off his firerat robe and his hakama, golden eyes watched from above the treetops. Swirling tendrils of incredibly long, silver hair wrapped around the tall, white, satin-clothed figure, who hung in the breeze as though he were a wraith. The white rays of the moon made his already pale complexion appear ghost-like. But the deep blue, crescent moon on his forehead and the two magenta stripes across each cheek lent solidity to his appearance.

It was time, time for the terrible spell, or curse, as Sesshoumaru considered it, to be overcome by age and time.

It was enough to be close to his little brother. Nevertheless, he was anxious for the spell to be broken. _‘My patience is at an end, Inuyasha. You have suffered enough from those who would wreak their powers on you; that first spell...damn father to hell. Then that damn priestess that sealed you to the tree. Don’t think I don’t know about her spell. She told you to never to forget her. Those weren’t mere words, my beautiful one. They were a curse meant to wrap your mind and heart around her.. And I will break that curse. You will remember only me. What to do about the priestess who collars you with that magic necklace that crushes your young, beautiful body into the dirt? We will discuss it once you remember. And, you will remember. We’ll break father’s spell and you will remember every single one of our childhood trysts. You will remember them as clearly as I do,’_ Sesshoumaru promised as his eyes lingered on Inuyasha’s bare form and his thoughts drifted to childhood years……

 

~*~

 

”Come on, Sesshoumaru. Father won’t be home for another day. Mother is entertaining guests. Come on!” the adolescent, child-like Inuyasha had urged him, tugging at the sleeve of his haori.

He hadn’t needed much encouragement because it had been him, Sesshoumaru, who had initiated their intimacy. Inuyasha’s innocent love and adoration incited his craving for the boy, but he had waited patiently for his brother to come to him. Yet, it was he who had taken that first awkward step into physical intimacy. Inuyasha had ardently acquiesced to his carefully measured advances. Even with all of his faults and failings...

The words of Sesshoumaru’s father blared through his mind. _‘Sesshoumaru! This is unacceptable. Again! You cannot afford to be weak!’_

Despite his shortcomings, Inuyasha had accepted him, wanted him. It had been as though they were meant to be together, decreed by the heavens, approved by the stars, the moon, and even the sun.

Behind his excited sibling, Sesshoumaru casually strolled through the serene garden then followed a well worn path through the wild bordering forest. Deep within, a bottleneck in a brook created a deep, clear pool of water warmed by the summer sun. Both boys, eventually stripped of their clothing, entered the water, Inuyasha with his enthusiastic leap, leaving a violent wake behind, Sesshoumaru leaving only gentle ripples as he waded toward his excited brother. Even then, their differences were immeasurable. Nevertheless, each complemented the other. Inuyasha sparkled brilliantly in the life of cold restraint forced on Sesshoumaru. And Sesshoumaru calmed the wild spirit of Inuyasha before it could get the boy into trouble.

Inuyasha swam up to Sesshoumaru, wrapping his muscular legs around Sesshoumaru’s waist.

“A kiss, Sesshoumaru. I want a kiss. Please?”

How could he refuse such an innocent request? “You know the rules, Inuyasha. It is not accepted among us. I can only do this with your promise each time.”

“I won’t tell. I never have. You know I won’t.”

“And you will never forget. One day we may be forced to part, but you will never forget. Remember always.”

“No, Sesshoumaru. I’ll never forget, promise. I love you. Can I have a kiss now? Please?”

Inuyasha’s playful, flaming, golden eyes never ceased to amaze him. His own were the same gold, but never playful, never free. A sad smile tugged at Sesshoumaru’s lips when he leaned down and met Inuyasha’s hungry lips.

Inuyasha wasn’t content with the feather of a kiss. He had to have more. Tugging at Sesshoumaru’s neck, he deepened the kiss with a fiery hunger. Their warm bodies melted together while Sesshoumaru held Inuyasha in a crushing embrace.

“Mmm, Sesshoumaru,” moaned Inuyasha, a sound that never ceased to spark Sesshoumaru’s desire for more responses from his young lover.

Always, he catered to Inuyasha’s pleas before immersing himself in his own pleasure. He cherished every moment that he was gifted to gaze upon the effects of his own handiwork. Inuyasha’s responses never failed to give him the fulfillment which he felt he didn’t deserve.

Sesshoumaru nibbled down the smooth white line of the soft flesh of Inuyasha’s neck, never failing to notice the way Inuyasha fully trusted him not to rip out that slender, white throat. Instead, Inuyasha tilted his head to the side, giving Sesshoumaru better access to one of his most sensitive, yet vulnerable, areas of his body.

Oh, and those soft, white ears atop Inuyasha’s head. They were always the most tantalizing. Sesshoumaru could drive the boy insane by suckling the sensitive flesh and he never passed up the opportunity.

After one last gaze at Inuyasha’s flushed cheeks, his small fangs peeking through full parted lips and passion glazed eyes, Sesshoumaru cupped the back of his head and began the exquisite torture. It never failed to draw whimpers and mewls, tremors and twitches. Sesshoumaru fisted his hand in Inuyasha’s hair, holding him immobile. With a gasp and moan, Sesshoumaru knew Inuyasha’s anticipation of what was to come next. Sesshoumaru ran his long tongue up the smooth, pink, inner flap of Inuyasha’s ear then nibbled along the edges.

Inuyasha gripped Sesshoumaru’s body, his arms around Sesshoumaru’s neck and his legs around Sesshoumaru’s waist. He rode Sesshoumaru’s hips, grinding his arousal into Sesshoumaru’s lean hard abdomen. Leaning his face into Sesshoumaru’s throat, Inuyasha licked and suckled while begging for more.

“Mmmf, Sesshoumaru…please,” Inuyasha pitifully whimpered between pants.

Never to be disappointed, he whined against and nipped his brother’s throat as he felt his ear encompassed in wet warmth. The suckling was what always did him in, what made him cry out in ecstasy, made him writhe shamelessly against his brother’s body. Sesshoumaru, running his tongue along the inner flap at the same time he completely drew in Inuyasha’s ear, always drove the boy mad with a desire that seared through his body and burned his skin.

Inuyasha couldn’t think, see, or even breathe. “Ah!” he nearly shrieked in pure pleasure when Sesshoumaru’s fangs scraped the delicate skin.

However, on this day, this terribly dark turning point in their lives, their pleasure was to be short-lived.

Sesshoumaru caught the scent and stiffened then allowed Inuyasha’s ear to slip from between his lips. Shifting his gaze to the familiar path, he saw the fierce glowing eyes blazing with wrath, scalding him with insurmountable disapproval. In an act of sheer rebellion against the man who had shown him no mercy, he curled back his lips and dug his fangs into his brother’s soft flesh, marking Inuyasha as forever his.

_‘You will never take him away from me!’_

His father might physically separate them, but they would be forever bound. Sesshoumaru had known this day would come, but hadn’t expected it so soon, and he wasn’t willing to relinquish the only real love with which he’d been blessed. However, he was fortunate. Inuyasha hadn’t been spirited away before he’d had the chance to bind them both together. For that, he was immeasurably grateful to whatever powers had granted him this opportunity.

Upon receiving the bond, Inuyasha screamed before slumping against his brother, never having been aware of his father’s presence.

“Sesshoumaru,” snarled his father. “You and your brother get dressed and meet me in my quarters immediately.” With that said, the Lord of the Western Lands stormed away, contemplating all the different forms of punishment which he could visit upon his eldest son.

“Inuyasha,” whispered Sesshoumaru with trembling lips. “We must go, my beautiful one.” Tears streamed down his cheeks when he attempted with soft kisses to bring Inuyasha to consciousness. “Come, little brother. Our time has passed.”

“Se…Sesshoumaru? What happened?” asked Inuyasha, blinking away the stupor.

“Promise me, Inuyasha. Promise you will never forget,” Sesshoumaru seemed to plead.

Inuyasha gazed, with no small amount of confusion, into pain-filled amber eyes and could not deny him, not that he ever would. “I promise. I’ll never forget. I told you, I love you.”

Inuyasha didn’t understand and searched his brother’s eyes for answers. He could smell Sesshoumaru’s tears, see them trailing down those beautiful, striped, porcelain cheeks. It hurt his soul to see his lover in so much pain. _‘Why?’_

“What happened?” murmured Inuyasha while he kissed and licked away the tears.

“Father found us and demands that we go to his chambers immediately. Dress now, quickly,” Sesshoumaru urgently, yet tenderly, instructed.

“What will he do?” Inuyasha asked, beginning to feel fear at Sesshoumaru’s reaction.

“I will be punished. He will not touch you, Inuyasha. You will be fine. Do not be concerned,” whispered Sesshoumaru, already regaining his control while slipping into his attire.

His clothing reassured him that no one could touch him in the place that mattered most—his heart. Only Inuyasha was allowed into that one well-guarded area of his soul. As long as Inuyasha loved him, he could take whatever physical punishment his father decreed.

He turned once more to his now fully clothed brother.

“Promise you will always love me, forever, Inuyasha. Promise,” he whispered, cupping Inuyasha’s face in his hands.

Confusion registered first in Inuyasha’s eyes, then determination. “I will always love you, Sesshoumaru. Always.”

He made it a declaration that would never be forgotten. It would echo in Sesshoumaru’s mind, heart, and soul for centuries to come, never to be forgotten.

“I love you, my brother,” murmured Sesshoumaru, dipping his head to taste Inuyasha’s lips one last time.

Inuyasha closed his eyes, reveling in his brother’s presence, still not quite understanding the implications of their predicament. But somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew, yes, he knew; this would be the last time he would savor his brother’s loving touches. Sesshoumaru’s eyes said it all…..

~*~

“Sesshoumaru, a lord never takes advantage of the lesser, the innocent, the weak, the cripple, and the servant. All of these include the very young, such as Inuyasha. You have dishonored our great house. I thought I had taught you these things. Apparently, I was mistaken. This transgression against your brother cannot go unpunished. And, to prove that this behavior will not be tolerated, that we can be trusted to refrain from abusing our power, your punishment will be public. As for Inuyasha, I sent a summons to our healer. She is with Inuyasha now and will heal the damage you have wrought upon him. His memories of all your transgressions will be erased,” proclaimed his furious father.

Sesshoumaru stood there, allowing his father’s angry words to wash over and beyond him. As a soft caress of the wind against his face and through his hair, he allowed it to pass. The anger did not belong to him, did not own him. It passed without touching him. When one could not change a situation, it was best to accept it and let the consequences be meted out. His father’s anger was understandable, even warranted. For that, Sesshoumaru could give no argument. He only stood, so still that if one weren’t looking directly at him, the person wouldn’t have ever known he was there.

Upon hearing that Inuyasha would forget, it took all of his reserves to maintain his stoic demeanor.

_‘No, no, no,’ his mind cried out, reeling at the crushing depth of his pain. ‘No hope. I will never be allowed to touch him again. He will never love me again, never remember! Alone…’_

Dealing with his father’s fury was one thing, losing the one who loved him, who could bring a smile to his lips, joy to his heart, was unbearable. His heart was viciously sliced to ribbons with a thousand knives. Bleeding to death. Dying a thousand deaths. Never would he live again. Never love again. And this knowledge somehow became his anchor, the rock that was to become his soul.

No one could be allowed to see his weakness. So he would face this alone, bereft, hollow, and he knew he would never love again. He would not allow it. Never again. And through it all, his expression remained unchanged, through the rest of his father’s unheard droning.

His father would have been proud had he known how well Sesshoumaru masked the damage he’d just inflicted.

The courtyard was filled with servants and local inhabitants. Sesshoumaru stood at the top of the stone steps, hearing the proclamation of the crime he had committed, along with the price he was to pay. Of course, the details were omitted, but the accusation stood that he had taken advantage of his privileged position. It would not be closeted for an unsavory character to discover and use against the royal family. No, today would efficiently snuff out any future threat.

Sesshoumaru obediently followed his escort down the steps to the courtyard, did not struggle as his back was bared and his wrists chained above his head to a wooden pole. He never gave them the pleasure of crying out while the whip lashed through the tender flesh over and over until the blood poured from his back in such copious quantities that his remaining garment was dripping at the hems. The punishment would not stop until he had been completely and utterly subdued.

He had been left to hang unconscious until the sun set behind the great house, a reminder to those who were unable to attend the actual infliction of the punishment. Sesshoumaru proved his strength that day. They may have beaten him until his body succumbed to the darkness, but they could not break his indomitable spirit, and there was no heart left to be broken. He had not, and would not, ever be subdued, especially not by the one who had taken away his very heart…his Inuyasha.

There would never be another punishment. He would make certain of that. Having Inuyasha taken from him taught him a sobering lesson. A broken heart was much more painful than any physical injury. And, he would insure that Inuyasha never suffered such an experience. Nor would he allow Inuyasha to be punished for any misconceptions concerning their future relationship.

Inuyasha’s attempts to carry on any type of relationship with him were viciously rebuffed. It was the best defense Sesshoumaru had, not only for himself, but for Inuyasha. Inuyasha would learn to hate him. He would not suffer Sesshoumaru’s fate. The boy would learn to fear intimacy from anyone. Sesshoumaru would personally see to that.

One would think that time could heal all things. But that is not necessarily true. And certainly not in Sesshoumaru’s case. The memories faded, but scars devoured his heart, growing hard and unforgiving. At one point, he even came to believe that he truly hated Inuyasha. And that was how it came to pass that the brothers were constantly at war. Any small thing between them was immediately viewed as a slight that had to be dealt with violently. It became somewhat of a welcomed ritual.

But then one day…...

 

“Come on, big brother!” called the young boy before he dove into the lake, followed by an older boy who was at least four inches taller.

“Don’t be so eager, little one. We have all day,” laughed the older of the two.

While the boys laughed and played, Sesshoumaru casually observed from atop a cliff. He continued to watch until the two had exhausted themselves and had shuffled out of the water to dress. They left happy and jovial. Wondering why he had been so captivated, Sesshoumaru sat there alone while the sun set on the distant horizon. As the moon replaced the sun, Sesshoumaru found himself remembering everything he had left behind, all of the tainted memories of those glorious days with his lover. His mind sifted through water sparkling with dappled sunbeams and the warmth of a body wrapped around his, furry, puppy ears carrying a concentrated scent of his brother, and cries of ecstasy echoing through the neighboring forest.

_‘It was so long ago. Would he remember what we meant to each other? So much time has passed. He’s grown and so much magic has been played upon him. Perhaps, the old healer’s spell has weakened and can be broken. Do I want to break it? Do I want to risk losing myself again? Could I be such a fool?’_

While the moon made its silent trek across the sky, its beams seemed to burn away layer after layer of the scar tissue that was choking Sesshoumaru’s hardened heart. It was a fight to the finish, Sesshoumaru’s mind demanding that he cling to his defenses while his heart struggled to reach out and grab the moonbeams before they disappeared with the rising sun to be lost forever, taking with them the chance for his heart to be healed. In the end, Sesshoumaru remembered one important fact.

_‘No one has ever defeated me. I am no longer a child and have no master. I do as I please and what pleases me is to have my beloved in my arms once again…It will be strange to hold him with only the one arm. Nevertheless, I will have him.’_

Never had such a weight been lifted from his shoulders. For the first time since he and Inuyasha had enjoyed each other in their secret haunt, Sesshoumaru felt…emotion. And it felt good. He even smiled, a real smile, for the first time in centuries. Now, to find his way back into Inuyasha’s heart.

~*~

Inuyasha’s eyes fluttered closed as sleep overtook him. The water was so soothing and comforted him, a warm blanket, coaxing him into slumber. He was too exhausted from his frequent awakenings in the middle of the night to question why.

“A kiss for me, Inuyasha? You promised to never forget your big brother.”

The softly spoken words drifted into his dreams and he found himself playing in a brook with his older brother, laughing, touching…kissing.

_‘Whoa, back up right there!’_ he ordered his dream. However, the dream refused to rewind and rapidly continued forward.

_“No, Sesshoumaru. I’ll never forget, promise. I love you. Can I have a kiss now? Please?”_ The voice seemed faraway, almost too distant to hear.

Images flew by one after the other.

“You promised, my beautiful one.” Soft and tender came the coaxing voice, like a drifting mist overlaying the dream.

_“I will be punished. He will not touch you, Inuyasha. You will be fine. Do not concern yourself.”_

Painful visions of hiding behind the drapery, staring out the window, and wincing at the sound and sight of each stroke of the whip, each new gaping wound, assaulted his mind. Over and over it played. Blood flowed, sickening his stomach. His brother’s body became nothing more than strips of mangled flesh, hanging from bloodied muscle.

_‘Is that why you were punished? Did we really do all those things? Was it real or is this just some dumbass dream my mind conjured up because I’m lonely?’_

In bracing himself for the sound of the next lash, the next spray of blood, Inuyasha found himself waking, his muscles bunched and stiff.

_‘Why is my chest aching? Why do I feel like crying? It was just a dream. Wasn’t it? What if it’s not?’_ Inuyasha’s chest clenched at the thought that Sesshoumaru could have suffered so much for something that Inuyasha could have never imagined they might have had.

“Sesshoumaru,” escaped his lips in a soft sigh. _‘It seems so familiar, so…right.’_

“I’m here.” The whisper was almost inaudible, but it was comforting for some inexplicable reason.

The rocks beneath him no longer felt hard and rough, but soft and giving. That just didn’t seem right and it prodded Inuyasha to at least attempt to open his groggy eyes. He would have liked more than anything to sleep off his exhaustion, but it seemed that even without Sesshoumaru’s help, his dreams demanded that he suffer another night of wakefulness. He drew up one water-soaked, wrinkled hand to scrub his eyes and nose. Then it dawned on him. Not rocks. Skin!

Inuyasha’s eyes flew open and stared directly into a mirror. No. No. He didn’t have a crescent moon on his forehead or stripes on his cheeks. And, he certainly wasn’t smiling.

“What the fuck!”

“Were you trying to drown yourself, little brother?” Sesshoumaru chided.

The tone was nowhere near threatening, but Inuyasha wasn’t taking any chances and struggled to break free from Sesshoumaru’s grasp. Sesshoumaru’s legs wrapped around Inuyasha’s in a vice-like grip while his right arm pinned Inuyasha to his chest. As waves rippled across the silent water, wisps of steam writhed in the disturbance of the air.

“You promised, remember, Inuyasha?” Sesshoumaru said quite clearly, his voice serious, but soft.

Inuyasha’s struggles ceased. “Never forget?”

“Yes,” Sesshoumaru murmured, licking Inuyasha’s ear.

“Ses…big brother?” Inuyasha stammered, testing Sesshoumaru’s meaning.

“Yes, my beautiful one,” Sesshoumaru whispered across Inuyasha’s ear while lightly caressing the finely-furred edge.

“It…It was real, all of it...the brook, us?” He almost couldn’t say it. “You were whipped because of it?”

“It is in the past, Inuyasha. In the past.” Sesshoumaru gazed down with solemn eyes. “It was not your fault.”

“But, why have you hated me all these years?”

“I did not hate you, Inuyasha. You would have been punished had I not spurned your attempts to…have me love you. They watched us closely. You could not afford to give them cause to believe that you would repeat what I…taught you. Not with me, not with anyone. Do you understand?” Sesshoumaru’s eyes seemed to be frantically searching for some sign that Inuyasha understood and forgave him.

Inuyasha was still somewhat in shock and was having difficulty forming a coherent thought. His gaze traveled down to the reflective surface of the water while he furrowed his brow. Questions bombarded his shocked mind.

_‘It was real. He loved me. We were happy. And he didn’t hate me? How is that possible? All this time? Why didn’t I remember? What’s happening? This is bullshit. But, maybe…if he kissed me, it would feel like it all really did happen…maybe…It’s stupid but…’_

With each dreadful moment lost waiting for an answer, Sesshoumaru’s countenance gradually eased back toward that cold, dark comfort that waited to blanket the pieces of his broken heart. Then the silence was shattered into a million bright twinkling stars.

“A kiss, big brother? Please?”

Sesshoumaru’s heart stopped, literally. They were in the water again and Inuyasha had asked him for a kiss as though the centuries between this moment and the last kiss they had shared had never existed. The world stopped spinning on its axis and the edges of Sesshoumaru’s vision blurred while golden eyes stared back at him from the darkness that was threatening to overtake him.

_‘It can’t be real. No, it’s a grand illusion meant to torment me even to my grave and beyond. Yet, what does it matter? I want this too much to pass it by. It’s only one kiss.’_

Inuyasha waited patiently, certainly not one of his normal attributes. Already the effect they once had on one another was clicking perfectly back into place. Inuyasha’s breath quickened while painfully slow Sesshoumaru drew closer to Inuyasha’s face, his eyes searching until they closed and Inuyasha felt the lightest touch of warmth upon his lips.

_‘So much like you to tease me, Sesshoumaru.’_

Inuyasha gasped at the automatic thought, visions drowning out the present as though he was back in time and it was all true. It was all true. Images his dream never revealed, emotions, everything lost, came back to him in one blinding rush. He drew in air, more than he needed, but still he felt as though he were suffocating. He shoved at Sesshoumaru’s chest. More room, more air. He looked up at Sesshoumaru silently begging for help.

_‘I can’t…breathe, Sesshoumaru. Help me…please…’_

At Inuyasha’s shove, Sesshoumaru’s hopes were dashed, and the cold harsh world began turning in its cruel climb toward the endless future, a future without Inuyasha...and his very soul shattered. He disentangled himself from his brother and slowly backed away as though he could fade into the mist.

He had never been there. This had never happened. The fates had now decreed that it was never meant to be.

Startled bewilderment stopped him in his slow retreat from Inuyasha when the young man flung himself at Sesshoumaru, grabbing for him in seeming blindness. Confused, Sesshoumaru wrapped his arm around Inuyasha’s waist and held him while his brother’s body went slack, his head falling back, and his eyelids fluttering shut.

“Inuyasha?” Sesshoumaru questioned. Did the old healer curse him to die if he ever remembered? Now panic reared its ugly head.

“Inuyasha!” Sesshoumaru shook him; Inuyasha’s swaying white hair mocking Sesshoumaru while his head lolled back and forth.

When Inuyasha’s eyelids slid open, revealing a blank stare, a sure sign of death, he great Sesshoumaru never swore, but swear he did and mightily at that. He had regained everything. Now he was losing all over again. This was just not going to happen. His anger overrode his despair.

_‘No! Not again! Never again!’_

“Inuyasha! Damn you! I will not tolerate this behavior. You will not leave me. Through the seven hells we are bound! WAKE THE FUCK UP!”

Sesshoumaru was trembling, no, shaking. Every muscle in his body tensed with the desire to leap into that place into which Inuyasha’s soul had disappeared. Not knowing what else to do, and not taking the time to make Inuyasha more comfortable, Sesshoumaru drug him to shore and quickly laid him on the ground. Inuyasha’s body had already relaxed to the point that his eyes were now completely open and still blindly staring.

Sesshoumaru pressed his lips over that big pulsing vein in Inuyasha’s neck, only to find it dead, the rushing of blood silent. Enraged, that’s what he was. He couldn’t be completely certain now whether or not Inuyasha had rejected him, though it had appeared that Inuyasha had finally accepted him. And even if Inuyasha had rejected him, he couldn’t just leave him to die. They were bound, forever. His to love, his to hate, his to kill. HIS!

“FUCK THIS! Fucking Sonofabitch!” Sesshoumaru swore while he lifted his arm and brought his fist down on Inuyasha’s chest in one mighty swoop. Blood shot from Inuyasha’s throat and his body jerked from the blow.

Well, hyperventilation and shock might have killed Inuyasha, but smashing his heart didn’t help matters in the least. With the rush of adrenaline, Sesshoumaru had miscalculated the force needed to jump start Inuyasha’s heart. There was only one solution left to Sesshoumaru and he hoped to the seven hells it would work.

_‘If you had any mercy in your heart, father, you planned to allow for this possibility, you fucking sonofabitch! Don’t disappoint me!’_ Sesshoumaru demanded.

Sesshoumaru’s eyes wildly darted about the area, searching for his pathetic sword that couldn’t harm a soul. In this situation, it was the perfect tool. When he spotted it several feet away, he let out a breath he hadn’t known he had been holding. He strode to Tenseiga and with angry force, yanked it from its sheath. He tested its weight and willingness.

“Don’t let me down,” he muttered as he hurried back to stand over Inuyasha’s lifeless body.

There was no pulse of life in the sword, no visions of the hellspawn that were definitely surrounding Inuyasha in anticipation of taking his soul to the other side. All the anger drained from Sesshoumaru and despair flooded his heart. His sword had not heard him, would not save his beautiful one.

“No, I won’t accept this. I won’t. You won’t take him from me again,” he whispered, desperately clutching Tenseiga and leaning the flat side of the blade against his forehead. Tears fell down his cheeks to rain like sparkling diamonds and finally to splash onto Inuyasha’s immobile chest.

“Don’t do this to me, father. You had to account for this eventuality. You wouldn’t let him die, not for my transgression. You loved him too much. But never as much as I do and you know it. You always knew, you bastard. Please, please…”

A familiar tingling sensation shot through Sesshoumaru’s hand and traveled up his arm. His heart leapt and felt as though it would burst from his chest. He gasped at Tenseiga’s first pulse and opened his eyes to glare at sickly green creatures milling about, touching His Inuyasha, His lover, _His_ brother. He stood slowly with menacing purpose, a wicked smirk promising death solidly lodged on that beautiful porcelain face.

“MINE!” Sesshoumaru roared when he swung Tenseiga, reclaiming Inuyasha from the grave. Never before had he wielded his sword so fiercely. His actions gave new meaning to the word ‘vengeance’ when his body was flung into a spiral, whipping his ankle length, silver hair around his tall naked form. Were it not for the fact that he had the ability to defy gravity, he would have landed neatly on his ass. But the beautiful Sesshoumaru was the art of grace in motion. His perfectly proportioned body just as perfectly landed on his feet when he came out of that dizzying, powerful whirl of beauty, unraveling like an angel unfolding its wings. As though on strings, he elegantly dropped into a crouch over Inuyasha.

“Breathe, damn you, breathe,” Sesshoumaru whispered with his heart in his throat.

If nothing else could revive Inuyasha, one would think that only the intense pull of his gaze would force his brother to obey. His will was fierce, demanding, and refusing to take ‘no’ for an answer. He had never lost a battle and he would most certainly not lose this one.

Sesshoumaru was nearly nose to nose with Inuyasha when that first gasp of air was drawn into Inuyasha’s lungs then exhaled with a groan.

“Inuyasha,” whispered Sesshoumaru as though afraid that the slightest movement of air might carry Inuyasha away from him.

Inuyasha’s eyelids closed then slowly opened, revealing life in their golden depths. He blinked again, attempting to dispel the blur.

“Big brother?”

“Yes…it is I, your big brother,” Sesshoumaru affirmed, sighing in relief and carefully leaning his forehead against Inuyasha’s, closing his eyes in the process. Perhaps now everything would fall into place. Maybe he could once again feel his heart, his life, live as he once knew it.

“Never leave me again, my beautiful one. Stay, Inuyasha, stay…”

Inuyasha could feel tremors wracking Sesshoumaru’s body. He slid his hands up over Sesshoumaru’s shoulders and around to his back, drawing comforting circles.

“Why didn’t I remember?”

“A healer’s spell. Father ordered it. I’m sorry. I could do nothing to prevent it. Forgive me, Inuyasha,” he whispered while he nuzzled his nose into Inuyasha’s hair.

“There’s nothing to forgive, Sesshoumaru. I love you. Kiss?”

Sesshoumaru smiled and lifted himself to gaze upon the face of his revived lover and to savor the resurrection of the love beaming from Inuyasha’s eyes.

“Always a kiss for you, my beautiful one. Always,” breathed Sesshoumaru while he leaned forward and gently placed his lips on Inuyasha’s.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

**Thank you for reading. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!  
!**

 

_LEMON NEXT CHAPTER_

_***Disclaimer*** _

_Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru._

 

~*~


	2. Promises to Make, Promises to Keep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Promises to keep

~*~

 

 **Chapter Two**

 ** _Promises to Make, Promises to Keep_**

 

Sesshoumaru reluctantly broke the kiss, which he had subconsciously longed for over the seemingly endless drudgery of each passing day since his forced separation from Inuyasha. For a moment, before he closed his eyes to savor that which he had thought would never be returned to him, the warmth, scent, and taste of Inuyasha’s breath and lips lingered on his own. Yet he wanted so much more! However, time had divided their paths and obstacles still loomed on the horizon. What he wanted was in his grasp. Nevertheless, because of the passage of time and of events, it could so easily be swept away. He couldn’t allow that to happen. Inuyasha belonged to him, belonged with him.

This was all new to Inuyasha. With the exception of his mother, he had never felt so loved. At the same time, it wasn’t new. It was as though time had robbed him of something precious that would have made his life much more meaningful. There was a gaping hole in the fabric of his life and he didn’t quite know how to accept that which was meant to fill it.

Sure, he had a life, but it was a tangled web of failure, torment, and emptiness. At this juncture in his life, he had finally become somewhat content with newfound friends. He had a mission and a purpose. Suddenly, everything was jumbled and confusing. A severe headache was in his immediate future.

 _‘Where is all this leading? What am I going to do now? Sure, it’s all fine and good to find out that Sesshoumaru hadn’t really hated me. But how is that going to change my life? Do I want it to change my life? Can we still have the relationship we once had? Do I really want that now? What does Sesshoumaru want? Why is he doing this? Is he lonely or just playing some kind of sick game with me? It’s not like him, but it’s never too late to change tactics.’_

And finally, _‘I don’t get headaches!’_ he protested.

His life up until now had been simple. Survive, protect the ones entrusted to his care, and conquer what enemies he encountered, one of which had been Sesshoumaru, up until this surreal encounter. Perhaps he still was an enemy. This promised to be the worst of Inuyasha’s many trials as he had so many other people to consider. It just wasn’t fair that this was happening when everything had finally fallen into place.

No matter how hard he tried to do the right thing, he just couldn’t catch a break. Kikyou, Kagome, now Sesshoumaru. Or was it the other way around? Sesshoumaru, Kikyou, Kagome. Kikyou, his first love, dead through deception, now haunted him in the frame of a body made of clay. Kagome wanted him now, just as he was, a hanyou rejected by society. However, he could never have her because one day she would be forced to return home, permanently.

Now…now, there was Sesshoumaru. What kind of havoc would he wreak on Inuyasha’s battered heart? This could prove to be one long nightmare, the one to finally break him.

Inuyasha wasn’t the brightest star in the sky, but he wasn’t exactly stupid. Moreover, he had learned caution in his dealings with matters of the heart. Sesshoumaru had seen to that when he was very young. All of his other experiences had only served to reinforce that distrust.

At least, he could breathe now, so that’s exactly what he did. He took one long deep breath and let it out in a slow shudder then gazed up at the one who was watching him with more longing, more need than he had ever before seen in anyone.

 _‘Aaargh!’_ he growled to himself and covered his face. _‘Just once, just once, can’t I have some sort of peace!?’_

“Let me up, Sesshoumaru.” He hadn’t meant to sound so harsh and he felt rather like scum when he saw Sesshoumaru’s face blanch at his tone of voice.

“I’m sorry, Sesshoumaru. I didn’t mean to…Ah, hell! Let me up, will ya.”

 _‘So, we are back to_ ‘Sesshoumaru’, _not_ ‘Sessy’. Sesshoumaru frowned his disappointment while lifting himself to stand beside Inuyasha.

Inuyasha dug his elbows into the ground to push himself up, but his body was having none of it. It was just too weak.

“Damn it. Why am I so weak?” he asked no one in particular.

“You died and in my haste to revive you, I struck your heart with more force than your body could tolerate. It was necessary to use Tensaiga,” stated Sesshoumaru with no hint of any emotion. He was being careful once again.

“Would you mind helping me up?”

“Perhaps you should remain still.”

“No, I want up. I wanna talk to you and it feels kinda weird lying down here staring up at you, especially with you naked.” A light pink bloomed on Inuyasha’s cheeks as he noticed that a particular part of Sesshoumaru’s anatomy wasn’t completely limp. Close, but not quite.

Inuyasha turned his face in the opposite direction while Sesshoumaru knelt at his left side and slid an arm under his shoulders, raising him up to a sitting position. A trickle of blood slid from the corner of Inuyasha’s mouth. His long tongue swiped at it and brought his attention to the fact that his face was splattered with it.

“Um…I think I want to get this blood off me,” he said hesitantly, knowing that Sesshoumaru would need to help him.

“Can you hold onto my neck?” With only one arm, about the only option left to Sesshoumaru was to hoist Inuyasha over his shoulder, and in his current state of undress, that could be rather uncomfortable for Inuyasha.

“I think so.” It didn’t hurt to try.

Sesshoumaru stooped down over Inuyasha, his chest and abdominal muscles rippling, their cheeks barely brushing one another. The scent of his half brother filled his nostrils, bringing an ache to Sesshoumaru’s chest. He felt Inuyasha’s hands glide over his shoulders and around his neck and couldn’t help the involuntary shudder. Had Inuyasha noticed his reaction? Oh, how he wanted to reclaim his former lover.

“Hold on tight,” he whispered before sliding his arm down Inuyasha’s back and cupping Inuyasha’s thighs then bringing himself upright to a standing position. Though Inuyasha had become a man, his muscles thick and carved, he was hardly heavy for Sesshoumaru to lift.

Inuyasha was suddenly pressed up against Sesshoumaru’s torso and feeling quite off balance, as well as a bit self-conscious of his predicament. He had to do something about his precarious position. Managing to swing his legs around Sesshoumaru’s waist was a feat for the weakened hanyou. He was too embarrassed to talk or look at Sesshoumaru, so he buried his face into the nook between Sesshoumaru’s neck and shoulder, holding on while he was carried to the stream.

 _’This feels so familiar, but still…I’m pressed right up against him! I haven’t touched him like this in so long…and I remember how it felt back then. It feels weird now. Like it really isn’t him and it really isn’t me. We’re strangers.’_

Strangers they were, strangers with some vague knowledge of other.

Once the water reached just below Sesshoumaru’s chest, he loosened his grip just enough to allow Inuyasha to slide down into the water. Much to his surprise, Inuyasha didn’t budge. He wasn’t certain if perhaps Inuyasha had passed out or simply wanted to hold him. He hoped with all his newly liberated heart that it was the latter.

 _‘I don’t want to let go. It just feels so good, so…right,’_ thought Inuyasha, though he was embarrassed and a bit unsure of how Sesshoumaru would react.

The sounds of the forest seemed to grow louder, the scenery too sharp in its detail. In their discomfort, everything seemed amplified, neither knowing what to do next or what to think. It was awkward at best.

In the silence, Inuyasha couldn’t help but notice the pale contours of Sesshoumaru’s shoulders and upper back. Sesshoumaru was nearly as pale as a marble statue and just as smooth and sleek. He marveled at the perfection in those dips and curves. Sesshoumaru’s upper back was broad and powerfully muscled. The shape of his torso gracefully narrowed into a slim waist. Yet it remained muscular with a maturity to his physique that Inuyasha had yet to reach. With his effort to hold Inuyasha, the tight, well-toned globes of Sesshoumaru’s bottom creased at the side. He had been so caught up in his study of Sesshoumaru that he hadn’t immediately noticed the nose burrowing into his hair just behind his ear.

Sesshoumaru breathed in the scent, hair tickling his cheek as the warmth of Inuyasha’s body encircled him. He remembered all the many times he had held Inuyasha exactly like this, all the many times he had teased Inuyasha’s ears until he had heard the immensely pleasing cries of pleasure. His cheeks as well as his body warmed at the remembrance of times long lost. It was now possible that those times could be found again.

Sesshoumaru shivered and gasped, tears welling up in his eyes when he felt hands caressing his back and lips exploring the curve of his neck. A sigh of relief escaped his lungs and he tightened his grip on Inuyasha. It had been so long.

“Sesshoumaru?” Inuyasha murmured.

“Yes?” whispered Sesshoumaru as he savored the scent of his brother.

Despite Inuyasha’s best attempts not to lose himself, time seemed to rewind. He couldn’t force it to stop and, like the Pied Piper, emotions spurred by this journey urged him on.

“I don’t know what to do, Sessy. I’m so damn confused,” Inuyasha muttered, taking a deep cleansing breath.

 _‘Sessy. Yes, that is who I should be to you.’_ With the utterance of that old nickname, warmth filled Sesshoumaru’s chest.

“Be here with me, Inuyasha. Take that step of discovery. Once you have experienced what we once had, what we can have again, you will no longer be confused…my beautiful one,” Sesshoumaru murmured as he drew back to gaze into the untamed golden eyes of his brother. He longed to see the brilliance that so long ago had penetrated the hardness of his heart.

Deepened by his keen desire, Sesshoumaru’s sultry voice mesmerized the one held in his arms. The last spoken words were barely heard. Inuyasha had been lost when he gazed upon the beauty of Sesshoumaru. Still clinging with his left arm, he brought his right hand around to lightly trace the dark blue crescent moon on Sesshoumaru’s forehead then the magenta stripes adorning his cheeks.

“I forgot…” Inuyasha whispered to himself while caressing the colored skin. “They are so smooth, but always felt like they had an almost invisible coat of velvet.”

A smile tugged at the corner of Sesshoumaru’s mouth. “You are remembering well.”

Tightening his legs around Sesshoumaru’s waist, Inuyasha used Sesshoumaru’s hips to lift himself. He caressed the crescent moon with his more sensitive lips, trailing down the right side of Sesshoumaru’s face to meet the stripes. Sesshoumaru trembled beneath Inuyasha’s curiosity and it did not go unnoticed.

 _‘Don’t stop there,’_ Sesshoumaru’s mind begged. And Inuyasha didn’t. For a moment he hesitated at the corner of Sesshoumaru’s mouth.

“Inuyasha,” whispered Sesshoumaru, his ability to breathe stifled by his need.

“Kiss, Sessy?” Inuyasha’s breath feathered across Sesshoumaru’s jaw and lips.

The question went answered as Sesshoumaru turned his head and their lips met in a light press of silken flesh. The small raised temperature Inuyasha had felt on his skin began a slow burn as he stilled. Breathing Sesshoumaru’s breath, feeling those soft lips on his own, and becoming acutely aware of his skin pressed to Sesshoumaru’s, Inuyasha’s heart fluttered as though it wanted to climb up his throat and make its home inside the warmth of Sesshoumaru’s chest.

Unexpectedly, the gentlest of touches was not enough for Inuyasha. His body craved more. As though in an opiate induced haze, Inuyasha leaned in and skated his tongue along Sesshoumaru’s lips, parting them slightly to taste the inner walls.

It was enough encouragement for Sesshoumaru and the response was immediate. Sesshoumaru moaned and opened his mouth to Inuyasha. Their tongues explored, tasted, danced and plundered. Suddenly the steadily rising heat roared to life, whipping through their bodies. Inuyasha writhed against Sesshoumaru in their age old rhythm, searing Sesshoumaru’s belly as he felt the familiar form of Inuyasha’s arousal. He was taken back to the last time they had been together. Sesshoumaru quickly swiped those memories away. This was a new time, not to be tainted by the memories of the past.

 _‘If only I had both arms. But, we will find new ways.’_

Something was poking against the right globe of Inuyasha’s ass. He lifted himself away, skittish as the realization of what it was dawned on him. Sesshoumaru didn’t appear to have noticed. It was Inuyasha’s ears that had drawn all of Sesshoumaru’s attention. Inuyasha drew a sharp breath as Sesshoumaru attempted to pull him downward. To Inuyasha’s relief, Sesshoumaru shifted his hips so that his stiff member slid between them. Inuyasha’s head fell back and he moaned with wanton desire as their arousals slid together. It had been so long. Yet, he still remembered those sensations as though it were only yesterday.

Sesshoumaru brought his hand up to Inuyasha’s head and fisted his fingers in that thick white mane, so tightly that it was just this side of pain. He gently tipped Inuyasha’s head back, exposing the long line of Inuyasha’s neck. Inuyasha instinctively knew what was coming next. Without a thought, his eyes closed and his mouth parted.

This was the best part. Always. So intense it could take him over the edge if Sesshoumaru desired. Sesshoumaru had done just that on more than one occasion. Just the wait now was driving Inuyasha insane.

 _‘What was Sesshoumaru doing? What was he waiting for?’_

The long expanse of Inuyasha’s thin neck drew Sesshoumaru’s attention. His eyes followed the line of white hair up Inuyasha’s throat until they met his ears. For the moment, once again, it all belonged to Sesshoumaru. As in the past, he wanted to tease Inuyasha, make him beg for more. So, instead of going right for the ears, he leaned his head forward and licked a long wet line up Inuyasha’s neck before suckling his way back down.

“Please, stop teasing!”

Sesshoumaru growled and nipped Inuyasha under the chin, receiving a small surprised yelp in return. With some of his doubts being eased, he smiled to himself while his tongue skated along Inuyasha’s collarbone. A barely audible moan reached his ears when he nipped his way down to Inuyasha’s left hardened, pink nipple. For a moment, he merely stared at it, wondering if it would still feel, taste, and smell the same as it had so long ago.

Time had changed Inuyasha’s body and time, strengthened his body and broadened his chest. Reveling in the solid feeling of added musculature, Sesshoumaru dipped his head, sucked that pink bud into his mouth and tasted Inuyasha’s flesh, thrumming it with his tongue. Only the added bulk of Inuyasha’s muscles were different from what he remembered. The taste and scent had remained the same. A short high whine muffled by Inuyasha’s now clenched jaws did not go unheard and urged Sesshoumaru to turn his attention to the right nipple. He could feel the rapid rise and fall of Inuyasha’s chest, the tightened grip around his legs.

Despite the new waves of heat spiking through Inuyasha’s veins, goosebumps traveled the expanse of his skin. He was sure that he would burst, his flesh peeling away and a blinding white light of immense proportions overwhelming him the sensations as the sensations coursing his body expanded beyond comprehension. Yet, it wasn’t over yet. Not by a long shot. He felt his entire torso pulled forward and his head bowed with the help of Sesshoumaru’s hand. He whimpered in agonizing anticipation of remembered favorite activity.

There was nothing stopping Sesshoumaru. No sign that Inuyasha was having second thoughts. Once this step was taken, there would be no turning back for either of them. Those ears, those ever so sensitive ears, were perked and waiting, crying out for all that he could accomplish with them.

Oh, this was going to be sweet. By starlight, he gazed on the pink inner flaps of Inuyasha’s ears, so tender, so tasty. The responses he would elicit from Inuyasha tonight would bring as much pleasure to him, as it would to Inuyasha.

“Inuyasha,” he breathed into the right ear, letting his breath tickle the fine, white hair while his lips barely caressed the edge of the sensitive appendage.

His heart leapt at the groan escaping Inuyasha’s chest and at the trembling that seemed to radiate throughout Inuyasha’s entire body. The familiar fire in his veins seared through his blood and he could wait no longer. Urgency swelled his chest and, with his tongue, he blazed a path along the outer edges of Inuyasha’s right ear. A shudder. He flattened his tongue and licked up through the center, wetting it for the next pass. A moan. Another long torturous trail of wet warmth. A cry of pure wanton need.

It was everything that Sesshoumaru remembered…and more. To hold Inuyasha in his arms once again was divine.

Sesshoumaru took the entire ear into his mouth and suckled it while his tongue traced lazy elliptical patterns. Inuyasha’s body went wild, almost causing him to lose his footing. This was not going to work, not with only one arm. Decades in the past, it was no feat to trap Inuyasha within the tight embrace of his arms. However, he now needed more solid ground.

The lines between past and present had blurred and there were no longer any thoughts in Inuyasha’s head as his body approached the white oblivion of pure ecstasy. The passion lit within him, unappeased, had driven him to distraction. He could no longer control his body. It moved of its own accord, seeking to satisfy its craving for the blissful unity of mind, heart, body, and soul. It was near. Oh, so near.

Without warning, Inuyasha felt himself being dragged back into the cold hard world when Sesshoumaru glided from the water to lay him on the white fluffy pelt that Sesshoumaru always carried. There was a momentary flash of trepidation on Inuyasha’s part. After all, his only experience with the pelt had been when it was crushing his body in the midst of battle. All hesitancy was wiped away when Sesshoumaru showered his face with feather-light, tender kisses.

Sesshoumaru allowed his weight to sink into Inuyasha’s body, essentially trapping his younger sibling, thus leaving his one hand free to roam without the chance of risking some injury to them both. He didn’t give Inuyasha a moment to breathe before taking Inuyasha’s white, fuzzy left ear into his mouth and torturing it with more fervor than he had done with the right ear. Inuyasha squirmed and bucked beneath Sesshoumaru, his breaths coming in ragged pants. As before, the ears were ever so sensitive and he reveled in his brother’s responses. The effects that this simple torture had on Inuyasha had always been enough to bring even him to climax.

“Sesshy, please, please,” Inuyasha pleaded, not even realizing that he had done so. Lost between worlds, he also had no idea that he was and, had been, freely using his childhood nickname for his older brother.

Sesshoumaru ground his hips into Inuyasha, momentarily satisfying both their need while not releasing the ear. He would finish what he started decades ago. Finally. Considering his earlier treatment of the delicate ear, h suckled it gently, not wishing to make it sore. In response, Inuyasha’s body became more insistent, more wanton, lifting Sesshoumaru’s body in a familiar and welcome rhythm that melded them into one writhing mass of flesh, flowing with waves of ravenous desire.

Sesshoumaru was forced to hold Inuyasha’s head immobile in order to keep the thrashing young man from tearing his ear from Sesshoumaru’s lips. After one long muffled whine, Sesshoumaru decided to pull back. What he saw was exquisite. Inuyasha’s chest heaved as though he were starving for air. The white fluffy ears were trembling. Golden eyes were dilated and, even though a small portion of pupil was visible, it was obvious that Inuyasha was blinded by passion. Crimson stained, his cheeks, neck and lips were full with the heat of his blood.

It was this sight that brought Sesshoumaru to the cliff’s edge, that place where his body was fell weightless into the bottomless chasm, his eyes blinded by the ecstasy release, his mind overpowered by ecstasy.

Inuyasha thought he heard cries, pleas of wanting and soon realized that they were his own. He couldn’t help himself, couldn’t control his reaction to Sesshoumaru, not that he truly wanted to. Flames rampaged through his body. He fought to keep them from burning him alive, but they would not be sated, not until he gave himself over as a sacrificial offering to his lover. He reached for that bonfire, yet hesitated, afraid of being consumed. Soon he would have no choice. Sesshoumaru wouldn’t give him one.

“Finish it!” he cried out, unable to stand the intensity of his torment, but Sesshoumaru continued the slow delicious torture.

The inhumanly strong fingers holding his head frozen in place suddenly disappeared only to dig their talons down his side. He didn’t have time to draw his ear from his brother’s lips. His body gave way, his back bowing forward, bringing him cheek to cheek, groin to groin with Sesshoumaru as he finally surrendered in one furious jolt that forced the air from his lungs as he sprayed his essence on his chest and belly. His first sensuous encounter since that last fateful day was painful, but the pain could not eclipse the overwhelming pleasure while his body convulsed over and over again.

Only by gripping Sesshoumaru and digging his claws into Sesshoumaru’s ribs could he hold onto his bodily form. He was oblivious to the fact that his leap into the flames had drawn Sesshoumaru, crying out, along with him. His eyes might or might not have been closed. It wouldn’t have mattered. He could see nothing, hear nothing. Only feel his sore, aching body as aftershocks rocked him.

Inuyasha’s grip on his body tore at Sesshoumaru’s heart. He had wanted this so badly, longed for it without even realizing. How much of this longing contributed to his ill treatment of his brother? Hopefully, this would be the end of this period in their lives. It seemed as though he had succeeded in his attempts when Inuyasha cried out. That sound burst through his chest and he found himself drawn into that blazing spiral of ecstasy.

While the ebb and flow of their climax crashed through them in a never-ending riot of waves, perspiration provided the needed lubrication for their bodies to glide against one another; lifting, grinding, and rolling. In a full-body crushing embrace, they found their safe harbor in the eye of the storm and allowed the winds of passion to buffet their flesh.

It seemed an eternity before they drifted back into their own bodies, aware of the physical here and now, and with the ability to breathe without their lungs feeling as though they would explode.

Inuyasha’s swimming head seemed to burn. Yes, he enjoyed every moment of it and was sated. However, now that it was done, he wasn’t sure that it was the wisest thing to allow. He just didn’t know. Things were just too confusing. His body recognized this union with his brother, but his mind could only remind him of the recent past.

Sesshoumaru had no need to study Inuyasha’s face to know the young man was having second thoughts. He had suspected this would happen and once again, his fear of rejection was brought to the forefront of his mind.

“Come to the water, Inuyasha,” he murmured before rising and walking to the spring without looking back.

Sesshoumaru seemed to glide with ease whereas Inuyasha made his way on weak, wobbling legs. Inuyasha waded out to Sesshoumaru and began washing away the remnants of their release. Something occurred to him.

“Sesshoumaru?”

“Yes?”

Inuyasha stroked the semen from his belly as he attempted to put his question into words without being too embarrassed.

“I don’t remember ever doing anything for you. I mean…” He trailed off unable to find the appropriate words or to dare say them.

“Your enjoyment is enough for me to gain my own pleasure,” Sesshoumaru gazed at him with the slightest grin.

“Why did your bite marks scar instead of going away like all of my other wounds? I mean, they’re too small for anyone else to notice unless they know that the marks are there.”

“You do not know?” asked Sesshoumaru, raising his brow in disbelief.

Inuyasha shook his head.

“Amazing, still an innocent.” Sesshoumaru shook his head. He reached across the distance and caressed the small, nearly invisible pinpricks at the junction of Inuyasha’s neck and shoulder. “It is my mark.”

Inuyasha furrowed his brow, still not understanding.

“It means, Inuyasha, that where ever I might be, I am bound to you. When you suffer, I feel it. When you have joy, I feel it.” Sesshoumaru paused.

“Do I feel what you feel?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“You did not bind yourself to me.” There was no sadness or bitterness in Sesshoumaru’s voice.

“Why did you do it?” It was beyond Inuyasha’s comprehension that Sesshoumaru would want to do such a thing.

Sesshoumaru slid his arm around Inuyasha’s waist and smiled down at him. “I knew you would be taken from me and could not abide the thought of being without you. If I could not be with you in the flesh, I would be with you in the spirit. You are and always have been ‘My beautiful one’.”

Inuyasha stared up at him in disbelief. “You felt it when I was pinned to the tree under Kikyou’s spell?”

“I felt you die. I came, but could not touch the arrow, could not break the spell.”

“Why did we fight after Kagome freed me?”

Sesshoumaru laughed. “Would you have listened to me? Your memories were stolen from you. Or have you forgotten?”

“You don’t give me enough credit,” growled Inuyasha.

“Would you have believed me? Would you have allowed this?” Sesshoumaru leaned down and placed his lips over Inuyasha’s.

“No,” Inuyasha whispered. He didn’t even need to think about the answer to that question.

“Then the only way to be near you was to continue to fulfill my role as your tormentor.”

“You felt it when you put your hand through my stomach?”

Sesshoumaru hesitated. “Yes.”

“You knew it would hurt you?”

“Yes,” Sesshoumaru sighed.

“Why did you do it!?”

“I was angry at father for giving you Tetsusaiga. It should have been mine.”

“Damn it, Sesshoumaru! You bastard.”

“I knew you would live. You didn’t know of course.”

“That hurt!”

Sesshoumaru chuckled. “The wounds you suffered after didn’t hurt as much compared to that, did they?”

“Not by far!”

“If nothing else, it made you stronger, though that was certainly not my intention.”

“I can’t believe you did that.”

“It had been a long time for us. At the time, I did not believe you would ever be with me again. You had become the enemy, a cherished enemy. If you had died, I would have also and it wouldn’t have mattered to me. You would have been lost to me.” Sesshoumaru had never really considered what would happen to him had Inuyasha died in truth. However, it was as he said, it mattered not.

Inuyasha was amazed and shocked to see the reflection of tears building in Sesshoumaru’s eyes. He had not seen such a display of emotion since the day they parted.

“You would have died. You really would have and I never would have known.” Again Sesshoumaru had shocked Inuyasha.

Sesshoumaru cleared the lump in his throat. “It is of no consequence.”

“Had Kikyou’s arrow been more than a spell, I would have died then. I was angry with you for putting yourself in such a position. It is another reason I fought you. Loving a human,” Sesshoumaru nearly sneered with bitterness. “Until that time, I could have cared less about humans. After that, I hated them with a passion, and I hated you. Do you understand now?”

“I didn’t know.”

“Now you do and as I said, it is no longer of any consequence. No more talk.” The topic was disturbing and Sesshoumaru did not want to have anything interfere with this opportunity.

Sesshoumaru leaned down and kissed Inuyasha again. This time, it was not merely a touch of lips. It was filled with that longing ache that Sesshoumaru had so successfully quashed for so many centuries.

Inuyasha felt the wet warmth of Sesshoumaru’s tongue exploring his lips. Without a second thought, he parted his lips, opening his mouth to that tender, gliding exploration. It was strange, his response to his brother. It seemed as though he lost all control. There was no fighting it. He couldn’t stop himself, and perhaps, when his body and mind remembered the arms that once held him, he didn’t really want to deny his craving for Sesshoumaru.

 _‘He used to hold me in his arms. He had both of them then and I sliced one of them from his body. How can he love me after what I’ve done? Not that I regret defending myself. But still…’_

Inuyasha pulled away from the kiss and gazed up into Sesshoumaru’s golden eyes. “Could you take the black pearl from my eye, open the portal to father’s tomb and re-attach your arm?”

“What!?” The sudden feeling that Inuyasha perceived him as inadequate threatened to bring up his beast, but he was not one to make judgments without reason.

“Your arm.”

“It has been so long that I have become accustomed to having only one arm, Inuyasha,” he said, frowning at his brother.

“So. I want you to have it back. Can you?”

Sesshoumaru stared at him. The thought hadn’t occurred to him, at least not recently, that he would ever reclaim his arm. And he would need to find out just what Inuyasha’s motivations were. Was his body not adequate? Did he disgust Inuyasha? The very thought tempted bitterness to rear its ugly head. After all, it was Inuyasha who had severed it from his body.

“Why?”

“Do you really have to ask?”

 _‘Yes,’ Sesshoumaru thought while unconsciously clenching his jaws._

“I can do it, but I don’t know…”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 ** _Thank you to all who read. Hope you enjoyed the chapter._**

 _ **~*~**_

 _ ***Disclaimer***_

 _Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru._

 

~*~*~*~*~*~


	3. Past and Present Collide

~*~

 

 **Chapter Three**

 ** _Past and Present Collide_**

 

"Just do it, Sesshoumaru." Inuyasha tried to burn a hole through Sesshoumaru's resistance with his blazing gaze.

Sesshoumaru reached out and ran his thumb along the line of Inuyasha’s jaw. "You know it will hurt."

"Keh, like I care. I've suffered worse things. Tell me you don't want it back. Think about what you could do with it that you can't do now," Inuyasha murmured low, almost guttural. Intentionally lowering his head the tiniest bit, he gazed up at Sesshoumaru through the lace of thick, black eyelashes. The heat radiating from his lustful, golden eyes put the steam from the hot springs to shame.

“Ah, ulterior motives,” said Sesshoumaru, quirking a smile.

“It’s not just that, but if it will persuade you…” Inuyasha stood on his tiptoes and leaned into Sesshoumaru’s chest. Tipping his head back with lips parted, he closed his eyes. The fringes of his thick black lashes decorated his pink-tinged cheeks and his ears slightly tipped backward. The perfect picture of exotic allure.

He didn’t have to wait. Sesshoumaru drew him in and captured Inuyasha in a searing kiss, stealing his breath away and nearly deterring him from his goal.

“I think…I need more persuasion,” Sesshoumaru murmured against Inuyasha’s lips. The healing warmth of Inuyasha’s body coursed through his veins and he couldn’t have been more content. Though the return of his arm would be useful, he truly didn’t need it.

“M’kay.” Inuyasha’s simple muffled reply sent tingles along Sesshoumaru’s lips and shivers up his spine.

Unexpectedly, Inuyasha wrapped his arms around Sesshoumaru’s neck and his legs around Sesshoumaru’s waist. Drawing away from the kiss, he tilted his head down and brushed Sesshoumaru’s chin with his ears while dragging his tongue along Sesshoumaru’s collarbone.

“And you call me a tease,” murmured Sesshoumaru before ruffling the soft, fine hairs of Inuyasha’s ears with his warm breath.

“Just how much do I have to do?” asked Inuyasha, shivering and wriggling against his brother. A high pitched moan escaped Inuyasha’s lips as Sesshoumaru licked up the inner flap of his left ear.

“Make that sound again,” Sesshoumaru whispered then licked the inner flap of Inuyasha’s right ear. Furthering his attempt to wring that mewling sound from between his brother’s lips, Sesshoumaru went further and nibbled on the soft tip.

“Ung, Sesshom…” whimpered Inuyasha as his hips involuntarily lunged forward.

“Again, Inuyasha,” instructed Sesshoumaru as he took the entire ear into his mouth and suckled.

“Ah!” Inuyasha screamed, his entire body squeezing itself around Sesshoumaru’s torso.

“I’m convinced,” rasped Sesshoumaru, gliding from the water with his arm around Inuyasha’s waist. His body felt as taut as a bow. If they were going to do anything, it had to be now, before he could give in to his desires.

Laying Inuyasha on his back, Sesshoumaru rested his entire weight on his brother. In the form of an apology for the pain he was about to cause, Sesshoumaru feathered kisses over the flushed skin of Inuyasha’s face, finally resting on Inuyasha’s lips.

“Prepare yourself, my beautiful one,” Sesshoumaru murmured.

“I’m ready,” stated Inuyasha with brave determination.

While Sesshoumaru pressed his weight into Inuyasha, he brought his talon tipped fingers dangerously close to Inuyasha’s right eye. Sparks flew then bolts of electricity crackled between his talons and Inuyasha’s right pupil.

Inuyasha grunted, unwilling to cry out when the wrenching pain was reaching its peak. Suddenly, the pain was gone, replaced by a dull throbbing ache.

“It is done,” whispered Sesshoumaru, feathering light kisses across Inuyasha’s brow, cheeks, nose and lips.

“It wasn’t so bad,” he panted while lying through his teeth.

The lovers quickly dressed in anticipation of retrieving Sesshoumaru’s arm. There was no time to lose. Inuyasha was anxious and, at the same time, excited. Sesshoumaru simply wanted to complete the mission. He still questioned Inuyasha’s motivations for wanting to return his arm. Trust had never been one of his dominant traits.

“Come.” Sesshoumaru rose while reaching out to grasp Tensaiga. Leaving it in its sheath, he used the tip to bear down on the black pearl, forcing open a portal created by ripping winds.

“Quickly, Inuyasha,” said Sesshoumaru, grabbing his wrist and jumping into the tunnel created by the whirlwind.

As with the first time they had entered the tomb, prehistoric skeleton birds whisked them away to their father’s remains.

After an exhaustive search of the area, Inuyasha became exasperated. “It’s not here! Where the hell is it? Damn!”

Sesshoumaru appeared as unconcerned as ever while he watched Inuyasha darting from here to there.

“Inuyasha, it is unimportant. We must go before the portal closes.”

“But, it is important! It’s important to me!”

“I do not understand this strong desire to return my arm. Do you find me lacking?”

From several feet away, Inuyasha turned to face Sesshoumaru. Though the quiet, still facade was well in place, it was obvious to Inuyasha that his response could have a damaging effect. And that hurt. He was only trying to give something to the one who had just returned his memories, to the one who had suffered so much for loving him.

Carefully approaching Sesshoumaru, he let Sesshoumaru see the love and adoration reflected in his eyes. He wasn’t accustomed to this behavior, but he was giving it his all.

“You are more than enough. You are a beautiful, dangerous, perfect youkai Lord. I’m just a half-breed. Even without your arm, I could never measure up. But that doesn’t matter. I…You paid a high price for our relationship. This is all I can do to pay you back. I have nothing else to give you.”

Inuyasha stood, waiting for a response. It was true. All he had were the clothes on his back. He could never hope to give anything of value to Sesshoumaru.

The tense rigidity that had gathered in Sesshoumaru’s shoulders visibly melted away and his eyes dropped as he took a cleansing breath. When he raised his eyes to meet Inuyasha’s, there was some unidentifiable pain. He closed the distance and reached up to cup Inuyasha’s face as he rubbed his thumb along Inuyasha’s cheekbone.

“You are not ‘just a half-breed’, Inuyasha. You are a prince, strong and exotically beautiful. You are my brother, son of the great Inu-no-Taisho, and…I love you.” Sesshoumaru swallowed the lump in his throat as he leaned down and feathered his lips across Inuyasha’s. “You are beneath no one,” he whispered.

“Ahem,” interrupted a deep voice.

Both men turned to see a figure so much like themselves, only larger, stronger…and he was cradling Sesshoumaru’s arm against his chest.

“Father,” Sesshoumaru growled, narrowing his eyes.

“You never did forgive me, did you, my son?”

“Why should I?” Sesshoumaru replied tersely.

“Inuyasha was too young to make such a decision on his own. Nevertheless, your punishment did not need to be so harsh.” The great youkai shook his head and sighed.

“I did nothing he did not wish. Harsh! The physical punishment was nothing!” Sesshoumaru waved his arm in dismissal. “But you took from me the only love I had! I will never forgive you that,” he spat, stepping belligerently toward his father. He was an adult now, beholden to no one and his father would know that.

Golden eyes flashed at the young upstart. “You had love. You simply never recognized it. You were too caught up in Inuyasha to notice. Do you think I had no reason for what I did? You neglected everything. Your training. Your mother. Me. I am your father. You are my heir. It was not I who failed in our relationship as father and son.

“Think on that, my son. You have centuries to do so. Your punishment may have been excessive. However, I succeeded in protecting what is mine. You are the strongest, the most respected and feared youkai. You will not die a simpleton’s death. My son will live as long as he wishes. What I did was a difficult thing, but it had the desired effect.”

“I hate you,” hissed Sesshoumaru, drawing Tensaiga.

“You only believe you do. And that is as expected. With age will come wisdom,” his father expounded while unsheathing his own sword. “Do you wish a lesson in respecting your elders?”

Inuyasha watched in awe and fear. Would they fight? Tensaiga would be a killing weapon. There would be no chance of re-incarnation should Sesshoumaru destroy their father. His father whom he had never met. What would happen to Sesshoumaru? Surely his father would not kill his own son.

“You both are idiots,” yelled Inuyasha, jumping between the two.

“You,” he said, pointing to his father, “stole my memories. That was wrong. But I don’t hate you for it. You made Sesshoumaru what he is. You succeeded and I have my memories back, too. I don’t like how you hurt him so much, but I can’t do anything about it.” He turned to Sesshoumaru. “And you, Sesshoumaru, have what you want. Let go of the past. It can’t be changed and doesn’t matter now. You both are acting like children,” he huffed.

The great demon lord and his son were shocked into silence. Then their father smiled. “You have grown, little one; such wisdom from one so young.”

Inuyasha blushed at the compliment bestowed by one whom he truly wished to please. “Yeah, well, I’ve been through a hell of a lot. Now kiss and make up.”

Sesshoumaru laughed at his childish remark.

“Keh!” Inuyasha crossed his arms.

“You both have grown much. Protect one another. Inuyasha, love Sesshoumaru with all your heart.” He turned his gaze from Inuyasha to Sesshoumaru.

In another’s eyes, Sesshoumaru’s expression never changed. But his father knew him well. There was a hint of astonishment at his words. “Tensaiga will always be there for you, Sesshoumaru. Keep an eye on your impulsive brother. He may need it again.”

The sons gave each other a knowing smirk.

His father smiled when Inuyasha humphed, slightly lifting his nose in the air at the teasing comment. Closing the distance between them, the great TaiYoukai reached out with Sesshoumaru’s arm held in the palm of both hands.

“I knew you two would find each other again and I knew when that happened, you would be returning for this. I have waited a very long time.”

“It is mine to give,” Inuyasha murmured, reaching out and carefully taking the arm. He turned and gazed up at his brother. “Will you forgive me?”

Sesshoumaru merely nodded. Inuyasha didn’t need forgiveness, but Sesshoumaru knew that Inuyasha needed that reassurance.

Inuyasha raised the loose sleeve that hid Sesshoumaru’s ultimate humiliation and gently lifted the arm to its stub. Sesshoumaru bit back a groan of pain as the two ends reached out for each other, tendons and muscles stretching to reach their other half. A sear of burning pain shot from his stub to his gut as the skin parted to reconnect. It took only moments and in that time, Sesshoumaru’s face remained completely calm, as though he were unaffected by the excruciating pain.

“You were always strong, Sesshoumaru, as a great lord should be. I am proud of you. And you, Inuyasha, despite your impulsiveness, are just as strong, having weathered many destructive storms in your short life.”

“Keh, no thanks to you going and getting yourself killed!” Inuyasha grumbled.

His father merely chuckled, reaching out to brush Inuyasha’s cheek with his thumb.

Turning to Sesshoumaru, he stepped up and embraced his son, understanding the hardship of the heavy responsibilities laid on a once very much too young youkai.

“You were always loved, Sesshoumaru. Never forget that,” whispered the former Lord of the West.

Sesshoumaru was stunned, hurt, and angry. Emotions that he had long buried rushed to the surface. He could not separate all the confusing emotions his father’s actions elicited. Yet, out of deep seated respect for his elder, he hesitantly returned the embrace. He could not, however, return the sentiment. The pain at seeing his father after all these long years of torment still lingered.

With a sigh, his father released him. “Be well, my children,” he said with such sadness that it silenced anything Inuyasha or Sesshoumaru might think to say.

Their father turned and walked away, his form fading with each step. The sons watched with a great sense of loss. Once the figure had completely disappeared, Sesshoumaru immediately regained his composure.

“We must hurry, brother,” he said while hastily dragging Inuyasha to one of the waiting skeleton birds.

Once they had exited the portal and the pearl was returned to Inuyasha’s eyes, they stood staring at each other.

“Well, that was weird,” Inuyasha commented.

“Most certainly. And it is my fervent wish to erase the entirety of it from my mind.”

All the muscles in Sesshoumaru’s face were completely lax as he put the event securely in a box far away from his heart. Perhaps one day, when he felt ready, he would open that box and examine the contents more closely. Right now, he felt drained. Unmotivated to care about anything. He wasn’t accustomed to having so many pieces of his heart torn in so many ways in such a short span of time.

Inuyasha understood and reached up to cup Sesshoumaru’s cheek. His brother needed comfort and would not stoop to ask for it. He knew the pain must run deep. The touch was followed by an embrace and tender kiss. Sesshoumaru had paid more than Inuyasha ever would. The least he could do was turn Sesshoumaru’s thoughts to more pleasant activities. Perhaps he loved his brother more than he realized. Otherwise, he himself might be contemplating the strange occurrence.

“You are trying to distract me,” Sesshoumaru stated.

“Whatever,” whispered Inuyasha as he licked Sesshoumaru’s lips.

“Thank you.”

Inuyasha swallowed the barely audible words as his chest swelled under the verbalization of his brother’s appreciation. Words were left behind. And the world once more disappeared in a fog of tender caresses, heated kisses, and rising desire.

 _“Inuyasha, love Sesshoumaru with all your heart.”_

He would try.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 ** _Thank you to all who read. Hope you enjoyed the chapter._**

 _ **~*~**_

 _ ***Disclaimer***_

 _Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru._

 

~*~*~*~*~*~


	4. Strengthening Bonds

~*~

 

 **Chapter Four**

 ** _Strengthening Bonds_**

 

Inuyasha drew away, breathless. It took a moment to pull together the fragmented pieces of questions he couldn’t put into words. Now, they were rearing their ugly heads and wouldn’t go away. He just couldn’t allow himself to get into this relationship any deeper, despite his overwhelming desire to be in Sesshoumaru’s arms.

“Sesshoumaru, why now? Why are you coming to me now?” Inuyasha hesitantly asked.

Sesshoumaru’s brow furrowed and he stared down while his lips slightly pursed. He hadn’t really considered why he had decided that now was the time to regain what he had once lost. He took Inuyasha’s hand and pulled him down to sit on his pelt.

“I believe it was a combination of things…” In his effort to pinpoint just where he had begun the journey that had brought him back to his brother, he paused to try and put the series of events into order. “You seem to be developing feelings for your new miko.” Glancing over, he noticed that Inuyasha’s body had gone stiff.

“Her name is Kagome, and she is Kikyou’s re-incarnation. I guess that’s why I feel close to her,” Inuyasha informed him.

At the mention of Kikyou’s name, Sesshoumaru felt anger welling up within him. He had never quite been able to erase the emotion that whole area of his life dredged up. Without thought, a small growl escaped his lips, surprising him. That gave him pause. He stared at the ground as he contemplated the meaning of this new revelation.

 _‘Where does the anger come from? She stole Inuyasha’s affections, pinned him to a tree. ‘Stole’? Jealousy, buried so deep I didn’t even recognize it. That must be why I was so angry. Perhaps that is where it began.’_

“Kikyou…Your first close relationship was with Kikyou. It angered me, even before she pinned you to Goshinboku. I was very angry with you. Only now do I realize that I was jealous of her. So, you turned to the new miko. Though you were no longer mine, I was in danger of losing you again. I could lay the blame on many other things and not need to face the truth. The truth...I still yearned for you. This yearning made itself known to me when I observed two brothers much like we once were. And I wondered; could I break that accursed spell? So much magic had been played upon you that perhaps I would be successful in retrieving your memories. I chose to make the attempt before I lost you…permanently. There was no risk involved and the reward could be worth the effort. At least, I hadn’t thought there was a risk.”

Sesshoumaru finally lifted his gaze to meet Inuyasha’s eyes, waiting expectantly for a response. It had been quite some time since he had spoken so much in one sitting and it felt odd. Nevertheless, for Inuyasha he would do anything.

Inuyasha searched beneath the molten gold of Sesshoumaru’s eyes and lost himself in thought as his heart involuntarily took flight in the freedom of long lost emotions. Sesshoumaru had never forgotten and had actually been jealous—meaning that Sesshoumaru had continued to love him—even after all their battles. But his mind began to take him elsewhere, further into the future. Had Sesshoumaru truly succeeded in winning him over? What about his friends, his search for the jewel shards? Did the shards really matter so much? Regardless, he had promised to protect Kagome. She felt it was her responsibility to gather the shards because it was she that had shattered the jewel. From the moment he had realized that the transformation from hanyou to full demon would merely have turned him into a raving, killing beast with no mind, obtaining the jewel for its power had ceased to be his quest. Now he only sought it as revenge on Naraku for his loss, his friends’ losses, and to prevent others from experiencing such suffering.

“I know what you want, Sessy, but I’m not sure I’m ready for the…a complete commitment. Still,” he said, breaking their gaze to stare at the ground, “I want you more than anything. I want what we had. I just have obligations that would interfere right now.”

Inuyasha didn’t want to see the expression on Sesshoumaru’s face. It could be pain, and he just couldn’t stand that. Or it could be a cold retreat, something that would leave Inuyasha feeling lonely again. No one else had ever been able to take away his pain, heartache, and loneliness. No one, except Sesshoumaru. It felt strange. These past couple of hours had freed him in so many ways and now he _‘wanted’_. He wanted to keep that feeling and never let it go. However, he knew that in order to do so, Sesshoumaru had to understand his need to continue on his current path, and that could be a problem. With his want constricting his chest, he waited for Sesshoumaru’s reply. Perhaps Sesshoumaru could find a solution that would be acceptable to them both.

 _‘I want him…so much. But, how can I? Damn. It just feels so right, like this is where I belong. I can’t just ignore my responsibilities, though. The gods must really fucking hate me.’_ His head burned with the clash between his need and the knowledge that he couldn’t shirk his responsibilities. He may not rule a kingdom, but he had friends to protect and a truly evil and powerful enemy to hunt down and destroy.

Sesshoumaru lightly rested the index finger of his right hand against his lips, his eyes taking on a faraway stare as he pondered Inuyasha’s words. _‘He said he wants me, yet he has responsibilities to fulfill. He does not see that it is possible to do both…unless he planned to mate the miko. I need to know exactly what his circumstances are before I can develop a solution.’_

“Inuyasha, had you decided to mate the miko?” Sesshoumaru asked with no hint of jealousy or bitterness.

“It’s not possible. She is from another time and must return.”

Sesshoumaru didn’t bother to question Inuyasha’s claim that Kagome was from another time. Magic was prevalent and he had no use for it. He was only interested in where Inuyasha’s affections lay.

“What of the resurrected miko?” he asked with some ambivalence.

“I owe her my life. She died because I wanted the jewel.” Inuyasha sighed, feeling defeated at the thought. Remembering this shot pain through his heart. If he had anything, it was his honor and he would hold onto that. The problem with that was that it took away his choice of whether or not to be with Sesshoumaru. That stung. “It was my fault. She wants to take me to hell with her and I feel like she deserves that much.”

“It was my understanding that she was to deliver the jewel in order for you to become human. Naraku took the opportunity to slay her while taking on your form. Is this not true?” Sesshoumaru hoped that Inuyasha could follow simple logic.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much it.” Inuyasha pulled his legs up and rested his forehead on his knees, feeling the weight of hell.

“Had it not been for Kikyou, would you have chosen to become human?” Sesshoumaru hoped the answer would be _‘no’_ so that he might prove Kikyou to be the cause of her own demise. She would not be allowed to take Inuyasha to hell. Never. Inuyasha was his.

“No, I wanted to be like you; strong, powerful…respected. I wanted to be able to protect myself. Who wants a half-breed? You helped me to see that.” Inuyasha shot Sesshoumaru a glare. “And humans are weak compared to us. But I’m weak compared to you.” Inuyasha shook his head at the painful memories of being beaten and shunned for the half-breed he was.

“So, it was the miko’s desire for you to become human that prompted her to carry the jewel away from the shrine?”

“Yeah. But, I told her that I would become human for her.”

“You would have made yourself weak for her. You were the one willing to make the sacrifice. She sought her own happiness and was not willing to make such a sacrifice. Did she love you so much that she would have become demon for you?” Sesshoumaru stared at Inuyasha, searching his brother’s face for clues to what lay behind those soulful eyes.

Inuyasha lifted his gaze to intensely fiery eyes. “No,” he whispered, feeling the same hopelessness he had when he had finally caved to Kikyou’s wishes.

This was something of which Inuyasha had been very well aware and the pain it caused sat on his face like thunderclouds and rain. Sesshoumaru wanted nothing more than to wipe away that agonized expression. Had their lives continued as they had been in their youth, so many painful things could have been avoided. But what had been done could not be undone. Sesshoumaru cupped Inuyasha’s chin in the palm of his hand, emphasizing his sincerity.

“You owe her nothing. Stay with me, Inuyasha. I will protect you from her.”

Inuyasha’s eyes widened in horror as he drew back to stare at his brother. “You can’t kill her! She doesn’t deserve that.”

Sesshoumaru sighed in exasperation. “Many do not deserve their fate, but it cannot be changed. She is already dead, My Beautiful One. Tenseiga can give her rest. You will have peace. And that is as it should be.”

“But my life belongs to her!”

At this declaration Sesshoumaru began growing a bit impatient with his less than genius brother. “Since when have you believed that one being should own another, Inuyasha?” Sesshoumaru struggled to ask without growling.

“You don’t understand! She died for me!”

Sesshoumaru’s patience was wearing thin. He couldn’t lose Inuyasha to a dead priestess, to nothing but animated dirt and bones. He wouldn’t. Steeling his mind, he nearly spat out his argument.

“Did she really, Inuyasha? Was it for you, or for her? You are the one who does not understand. Had she been so selfless that she would have given you the jewel had she not believed it would make her happy? Did you ask Naraku to destroy her? No, you did not. We each are responsible for our own decisions and their consequences. She chose. She bears the burden. The undead miko is not the priestess you once knew. Would one who loves you wish harm to come to you?”

“But she didn’t know it wasn’t me that killed her!” Inuyasha exclaimed. Sesshoumaru could never understand. He had loved her with all of his heart. He had...once upon a time. In exchange for his failure to protect her, his doubts about her love for him, he had to protect her, even if she was only a walking shadow of her former self. He had been given a second chance to prove to himself that he could succeed.

“The undead now knows that you had not betrayed her, and yet, she still longs to punish you, correct?”

“Yes.” Inuyasha flinched at the truth of Sesshoumaru’s statement. As Sesshoumaru’s argument began to sink in, Inuyasha found himself experiencing a moment of confusion.

“It is not your miko, Inuyasha. It is a creature that lives on memories of betrayal. And those memories will not prevent it from following its nature, which is to destroy life. It is dead. Allow me to put the apparition to rest so that you will no longer be plagued with your dead miko’s likeness.”

“It is her. It is…” Though his heart fought him every inch of the way, Inuyasha’s mind was beginning to comprehend what Sesshoumaru had been saying. He didn’t want to believe that the clay structure was not his previous love. If Kikyou were well and truly dead, he would not have the chance to prove his love to her.

“Even if it were your miko, you both suffer for her undead presence. I can give her rest and give you peace. Do you refuse?” Sesshoumaru flatly question, hardness filtering into his voice. He refused to put himself in a position to be emotionally destroyed.

“Sesshoumaru, I don’t know what is right anymore. I have my honor and do not want to tarnish that. It’s all I have. Right now, being with you feels right, but I have obligations. She has been one of them. I don’t want to be selfish. Giving up everything to be with you would be the most selfish thing I have ever done. So many depend on my honor to protect them.”

“What will it take to convince you, Inuyasha?” Sesshoumaru felt like he was coming against a stone wall. How could he make Inuyasha understand? “I am alive. She is dead. Do you wish to live and be with me, or die and be with her? That is the final decision, Inuyasha. If your love for her is so strong that you would give up your life, I will court your affections no longer.” He didn’t add, _‘If leave me alone for eternity...’_ He wouldn’t lay that responsibility at the feet of the one he wished to cherish him.

“Sesshoumaru…,” whispered Inuyasha as though asking for help. “I can’t walk away from my life and I can’t allow you to kill Kikyou.”

Sesshoumaru rose to his knees and embraced Inuyasha and buried his face into the white mane. “I am with you. I will not seek to change your life. Naraku is my enemy as well. Together we will defeat him and you will accomplish your obligation to complete the jewel. All I ask is that you will come to me on occasion and that you be by my side when your journey is completed. Will you live for me?” _‘Say ‘yes’’._

Sesshoumaru tightened his embrace and drew in a long breath. Should Inuyasha deny him, he would leave. He could not bear the pain of knowing that Inuyasha, on any given day, might choose to walk away from him. Before he could become comfortable and secure in Inuyasha’s presence, he would be the one to walk away. If he were forced to leave now, at least he would carry Inuyasha’s scent with him for a long time to come.

“Could I change my mind later?” asked Inuyasha, hoping to avoid a commitment he wasn’t sure he could keep.

Pain shot through Sesshoumaru. “No, Inuyasha, you must promise you will be mine,” murmured Sesshoumaru. “I will not come to you only to be discarded at some unknown moment.”

Inuyasha slumped into Sesshoumaru, resting his forehead in the crook of Sesshoumaru’s shoulder. _‘He smells like home.’_ A lump welled up in his throat at the thought that he may lose this feeling of completion.

“I want you…so much it hurts,” Inuyasha muttered. “No one has ever made me feel like this.”

“You cannot deny it,” Sesshoumaru murmured as he ran his claws through Inuyasha’s hair. “We belong to each other.”

In his heart, Inuyasha knew that Sesshoumaru was right. Why was he still so hesitant? Sesshoumaru said that he could continue with his life. The obstacle was Kikyou. At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to forget her, but he had never been able to do that. It seemed like a rejection of the woman he had once loved, a rejection of the love he once had for her. As Inuyasha lay, basking in the tenderness of Sesshoumaru’s arms, his inner conflict was tearing him apart. Could he never have what he so desired?

Sesshoumaru slid his hands to Inuyasha’s shoulders and pushed him away until their eyes met. The sadness and defeat lingered in the depths of Inuyasha’s golden gaze. It tore at Sesshoumaru and he never wanted to see that look on his brother’s face. Sesshoumaru found himself at a loss for words. There was only one way to convince Inuyasha. _‘Show him what can be.’_ His eyes gradually closed as he leaned forward and rested his lips against Inuyasha’s. His hands followed the line of Inuyasha’s neck to rest against newly tear stained cheeks. The salt of Inuyasha’s tears was soon transferred to Sesshoumaru’s warm tongue as it tenderly caressed the soft skin. A sympathetic lump rose in Sesshoumaru’s chest and he nearly wept with Inuyasha. This was difficult. He knew. A few days earlier, had faced the battle alone, on a hilltop while watching two boys enjoying their games.

Inuyasha rested his forehead against Sesshoumaru’s and dared, with a tremulous voice, to say the three reassuring words he hadn’t spoken since he was a child, “I…love you, Sessy.” Inuyasha’s breath left in a rush, taking with it the years of pent up emotion. _‘Is this why I have never been able to fully give myself to any one person...because my heart knew that I loved Sesshoumaru? Is this why I could never kill him?’_

Sesshoumaru involuntarily fisted his hands in Inuyasha’s mane, pulling Inuyasha’s face away. He had waited so long to hear those words again. It made his heart want to sing. He took Inuyasha in a soul-shattering kiss, hard and passionate, then soft, the barest of exploring caresses. Gently leaning forward, he guided Inuyasha to lie on his fluffy pelt.

“Show me. Love me, My Beautiful One,” whispered Sesshoumaru before plumbing the depths of Inuyasha’s warm, sweet mouth.

The taste of his brother nearly overwhelmed Sesshoumaru. He wanted to take Inuyasha, caress every inch of the young man’s body with only his lips, to make love to him in every way imaginable; passionate, tender, wild and unrestrained. As before, he would be patient and move forward only at Inuyasha’s prompting. But oh, how he longed to be one with his lover!

“Love me,” he whispered against Inuyasha’s lips as he allowed his body to sink into Inuyasha.

Inuyasha could not refuse Sesshoumaru. He was entranced by Sesshoumaru’s attentions, was drowned in overwhelming warmth and affection, and that, from one he had once deemed to be as cold and heartless as the raging winds of the northern mountains. Breath left him as the world swam in bold colors behind his eyelids. How was it that Sesshoumaru could blind him to the responsibilities of his life?

“Yes…” he panted against Sesshoumaru’s hungry lips as he raked claws across the clothing barring his path to the warmth of Sesshoumaru’s flesh. “I love you.” Inuyasha groaned as Sesshoumaru nipped his neck. “Off…off,” he mumbled, tearing at Sesshoumaru’s clothes. “I…” Inuyasha gasped under Sesshoumaru’s tongue. “…want you…now.”

Under Sesshoumaru’s expert touch, thoughts of Inuyasha’s current troubles faded into the background. The world existed in each moment, all else forgotten.

Sesshoumaru pulled back and gazed at the painting beneath him. White hair spilled around and framed Inuyasha’s upper body, wisps highlighting the billowing red clothing. Inuyasha’s eyelids slightly lifted, giving Sesshoumaru a view of golden, lust glazed eyes. The arching body begged as much as the wanton expression in Inuyasha’s misted eyes. Hints of a crimson blush dusted Inuyasha’s cheeks, the color mirrored in the pink inner flaps of his ears.

“Please, Sessy,” Inuyasha moaned. He stared up into amber, darkened by desire. For the first time, he truly understood. Sesshoumaru had been his first love, the one he would always carry inside that part of himself he thought forever empty. Despite the spell, it had always been Sesshoumaru. His memories may have been stolen, but his soul had never forgotten his first love.

It seemed as though only a moment had passed before Sesshoumaru had both of them disrobed. Their clothing lay about in disarray as he straddled Inuyasha’s hips. Sesshoumaru ran his hands down the length of Inuyasha’s torso and drank in the sight of the pale man beneath him. The pink buds of Inuyasha’s nipples, hard and stiff on a heaving chest, drew his attention. His mouth watered at the tantalizing sight. His lips brushed over the thin, smooth skin. A deep breath through his nostrils brought the scent of the fresh wind that only existed above treetops. It was a scent he had longed to keep close; clean breezes spiced with the juice of freshly broken leaves. Visions of Inuyasha racing high above the forest filled Sesshoumaru’s mind while he savored the taste. Alternating between his tongue and lips, he drew circles around the delicate skin. He pulled the hardened bud between his lips and drew it into the wet warmth of his mouth then flicked it while he tugged it between his teeth.

Sensation sent heat coursing through Inuyasha’s body and his back arched. His breath came in ragged pants as Sesshoumaru continued the sweet torture. Wave upon wave of heat smoldered beneath his swollen, sensitive skin. Sesshoumaru left nothing untouched, nothing unloved. Fiery, wet lines trailed his neck, collarbone, and chest. Hot, wet heat moved down the center of his tensing abdomen and he couldn’t help the unconscious movements of his hips. Sesshoumaru’s strong hands quickly pinned them in place.

Silver strands of hair tickled his hips and abdomen as Sesshoumaru’s face moved over his groin. Inuyasha glanced down to see his brother stare up at him. Sesshoumaru was so beautiful. The stars and moon bathed his hair in shining white light. Amber eyes disappeared behind maroon-lined eyelids when Sesshoumaru lowered his lips and blew his warm breath along the length of Inuyasha’s erection. The sensations brought multi-colored sparkles into his vision as the wet heat of Sesshoumaru’s mouth encompassed the tip of his hardened arousal.

“Sess…” gasped Inuyasha as his hips tried to shove themselves upward, seemingly of their own accord, but were held fast in Sesshoumaru’s gentle, yet deadly, claw-tipped fingers. “Nng...please,” Inuyasha practically whined. He was being overwhelmed by what felt like his skin trying to curl in a furnace of flames lit by Sesshoumaru’s mouth and tongue.

The chorus of Inuyasha’s melodious responses urged Sesshoumaru onward in his efforts to please his Beautiful One. Each note that flowed through his body heightened his desire, pressured heat through his flesh, and strung tight his muscles. He enveloped Inuyasha and worked the muscles of his throat for maximum effect. The taste of salty liquid increased his own arousal and encouraged him to continue. Inuyasha deliciously writhed and raised his legs to wrap them around Sesshoumaru’s back in an attempt to pull Sesshoumaru into him. Sesshoumaru held fast, even though he lifted an arm and slid his hand between Inuyasha’s thighs. A high pitched whine was Sesshoumaru’s reward for manipulating the tightening bulges beneath Inuyasha’s swollen member. He wrapped his fingers around Inuyasha’s stiff shaft and began stroking.

“Please…stop. Sesshoumaru, stop!” Inuyasha whined when he felt the blood throbbing through him. If Sesshoumaru didn’t stop, he was going to fall into that white oblivion and Sesshoumaru wouldn’t be there to join him.

Sesshoumaru rose to stare at Inuyasha in consternation, but softened his gaze when he saw Inuyasha’s arms outstretched, palms up. Disentangling himself from Inuyasha’s legs, he slid up into waiting arms and he ground himself into Inuyasha’s groin. The reciprocating pressure pleased him.

“I want more this time,” whispered Inuyasha against Sesshoumaru’s swollen, satin lips.

“More?” questioned Sesshoumaru. He wanted to be absolutely certain that Inuyasha knew what he was asking. Only one step in there union was yet to be realized.

“More, Sess, more,” Inuyasha insisted. He emphasized his point by digging his fingers into Sesshoumaru’s hair and dipping his tongue into Sesshoumaru’s mouth. He explored the warm cavern, his tongue mapping every ridge, swirling around each fang. Sesshoumaru returned the kiss. His tongue stroked and rolled with Inuyasha’s. The joining instigated a sensation inside of Inuyasha’s chest and he wanted Sesshoumaru more than ever. “More,” he whispered then plunged his tongue into Sesshoumaru’s mouth. “Mmm, inside of me, Sess. Make love to me.”

“Inuyasha…” Sesshoumaru whispered. A rush of fiery blood coursed through his veins as he ravaged Inuyasha’s lips and mouth, his body dancing along Inuyasha’s smooth flesh. Corded muscles quivered with the effort to restrain himself. This was what he had longed for. From the moment he had taken that initial step with his little brother, he had wanted to be one with him. Caging that desire had taken all of his willpower. His burden could be set free and it was such a relief.

Inuyasha trembled under the mouth that nipped and suckled along his jaw and neck. He never could have imagined how wonderful this could feel. Oh, and it wasn’t just the physical pleasure. His heart felt as though it would burst with the love Sesshoumaru gave him. And that was what blinded his vision, clouded his mind, until nothing was left but the sensation of Sesshoumaru’s touch.

He felt Sesshoumaru’s hand slide between them once again. Those long slender fingers enveloped him. Though he wanted it, he wasn’t expecting the fingers, soaked with their combined essence, to make their way between his thighs. He hissed at the burn of the intrusion. Tender caresses against his ears from Sesshoumaru’s tongue distracted him from his discomfort. The second finger was less shocking and Inuyasha found the emptiness within him seeking to have that one last vestige of his loneliness filled.

“Sesshoumaru, please, now,” he whimpered as he felt his ear sucked into the warmth of Sesshoumaru’s mouth.

“You have never before asked for this. Are you certain?” Sesshoumaru murmured into his quivering ear.

“Yes,” Inuyasha assured Sesshoumaru and added a nod. When Sesshoumaru pulled back to ascertain Inuyasha’s willingness, Inuyasha stared up at his brother, sincerity radiating from every pore of his body.

Sesshoumaru’s hand pulled away to be replaced by something round, slick, hot and smooth. “This will hurt, My Beautiful One.”

Inuyasha could hear the regret in Sesshoumaru’s voice, something of which he never would have imagined Sesshoumaru capable. So many things Sesshoumaru had revealed of himself. It was truly astonishing. But with his memories returned, Inuyasha now understood. Sesshoumaru was capable of possessing all those things he had never thought possible.

Instead of prolonging Inuyasha’s pain, Sesshoumaru made one carefully measured thrust. Then he was inside the tight heat of his lover. After centuries of loneliness, completion had at last claimed them. Drowning in the overpowering surge of emotion left Sesshoumaru gasping for breath. Claws dug into his shoulders as Inuyasha stiffened beneath him and he was drawn out of the emotional well of his thoughts and emotions.

“I apologize, My Beautiful One,” he panted while he barely controlled his urge to continue. Drawing back he gazed into Inuyasha’s pained eyes and waited for some sign that Inuyasha was ready to continue.

“Kiss, Sessy?” Inuyasha whispered, his bottom lip quivering.

“Always for you, only you,” Sesshoumaru breathed against Inuyasha’s parted lips. Hearing those words had such a healing effect that Sesshoumaru felt his heart give an approving thump. He could practically feel the tatters of his heart mending. With each touch, he wasn’t only giving Inuyasha pleasure, but shedding all of his defenses. The last vestiges of remaining scars were peeling away to be replaced by that which he had avoided with all of his strength.

Inuyasha trembled as Sesshoumaru’s tongue tasted his lips and tenderly explored his mouth. He slid his fingers up to caress Sesshoumaru’s cheeks and ears. His tongue lightly stroked his lover’s as he suckled at Sesshoumaru’s soft, wet appendage. Sesshoumaru eased away from the kiss. The next thing Inuyasha knew, the delicate, inner flap of his right ear was being lathed with wet warmth. His body lurched forward, inadvertently burying Sesshoumaru deeper. It was no longer uncomfortable, so he pressed harder against his brother’s hips. The new suckling on his ear made him squirm and he automatically latched onto Sesshoumaru’s neck with his lips and teeth. Sensation was taking its toll. Sparks of heat flitted over his skin then morphed into a simmering arousal that took his breath away.

Sesshoumaru groaned, pulled away, and then thrust himself back into the blinding tight heat that was his lover. He repeated the motion when Inuyasha dragged his lips down the column of his throat. The taste and scent of his brother surrounded him like a cloak, even as he was gripped within Inuyasha’s body.

“Inuyasha.” The treasured name escaped his lips in a hot breath that rushed into Inuyasha’s ear.

“Sessy,” Inuyasha mewled and bucked against him in want and need. “Please, please.”

At Inuyasha’s urging, Sesshoumaru slid a hand between them and cupped Inuyasha’s groin. That earned him another mewl. It was a sound he would never tire of hearing. There were so many erotic sights and sounds his beautiful brother could display. As their movements became more urgent, his hand wrapped around Inuyasha’s slicked arousal and the strokes of his hand matched the rhythm of his thrusts. The cords of Sesshoumaru’s muscles rolled as his body arched in response to Inuyasha’s claws scraping across his back. Sesshoumaru felt as though his body was a torch beneath Inuyasha’s hands and claws. Even the grazing of Inuyasha’s feet over the muscles of his calves and thighs fanned the flames higher.

“Inuyasha!” Sesshoumaru gave a great thrust, shoving Inuyasha upward along the pelt. When Sesshoumaru pulled at Inuyasha’s long white mane, it bared the long line of Inuyasha’s muscular throat. Sesshoumaru licked his parched lips and dove at Inuyasha’s neck. The skin tasted of salt and what could only be defined as Inuyasha. He couldn’t get enough. The body beneath him shuddered and still managed to match the rhythm of the skin to skin dance. Flesh writhed, rolled, and bucked as they used each other to heighten their pleasure.

Each thrust filled Inuyasha’s body, but also did something without a name to his heart and mind. He let his eyes wander over Sesshoumaru’s shoulder and watched as, with each thrust, Sesshoumaru’s entire body rolled in one long wave after another. The pale skin seemed to glow in the moonlight. Another strong thrust broke his concentration and his head fell back, his eyes closing to swirls of bright color behind his eyelids. The heat expanding through his blood was overwhelming. It surged and receded. Each cycle caused his muscles to tighten further and pulled him closer to the edge of ecstasy.

Sesshoumaru intently watched as Inuyasha’s fangs peeked out from parted lips. With one sharp thrust, his brother’s neck arched back and a small scream escaped him. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes in bliss when he felt Inuyasha’s erection swell to that skin tightening stage just before release. The foreshadowing of his brother’s passion served to pressure his muscles into tensing for the same. In an effort to stave off that moment, he licked the lids above the thick, black lace of Inuyasha’s eyelashes before plunging his tongue into Inuyasha’s mouth, swallowing the scream as thick hot liquid spilled over the hand gripping Inuyasha’s shaft. Inuyasha’s body gave a powerful jolt beneath him. At that moment, he felt his own erection being squeezed incredibly tight. His release came with Inuyasha’s convulsions. The moon and stars faded as he drew out of the kiss and thrust one last time before coating Inuyasha’s passage with his own essence.

“Inuyasha!” he called out as he felt fangs sink into the crook of his neck and shoulder. The pleasure, pain, and reassurance in that act heightened to unimaginable proportions the intensity of his climax. Light streaked through his vision and his ears rang with searing blood.

With Sesshoumaru continuing small thrusts, their flight into that blinding oblivion seemed to last for hours. Neither of the lovers wanted to trail down the long spiral into the hard density of reality. So, they held on as long as possible. Inuyasha clung to his brother with his claws and fangs sinking beneath pale skin while Sesshoumaru ground him into the soft fluffy pelt.

Inuyasha came to himself with the metallic taste of blood in his mouth and to Sesshoumaru’s full weight pressing him down so that he felt the heaving chest and shuddering frame of Sesshoumaru’s body. Though his body ached with the after-effects of his plummet, he didn’t want to open his eyes or disturb the quiet moment. He was content to listen to the jagged pants of Sesshoumaru’s breathing. Reality still seemed somewhat distant and he enjoyed the warmth that seeped from Sesshoumaru’s skin.

The silence was finally broken, but not unpleasantly. “My beautiful one,” came the whisper across his ear.

Suddenly, the world came into focus and Inuyasha could hear the sounds of chirping birds that came shortly before dawn. It was loud in his ears, too loud. He ran his hands in circles on Sesshoumaru’s back and realized it was slick with blood.

“What have I done?” he asked, licking the blood from his lips.

Sesshoumaru swallowed hard and kept his face buried in Inuyasha’s hair. Worry that Inuyasha would reject him clenched at his heart.  
“You have taken my life into your blood and bound yourself to me.”

Inuyasha could hear, no feel, the dread and hope in Sesshoumaru’s words. He shared Sesshoumaru’s life force now. He lay there, listening to their breathing, wondering what this would mean. What would happen to him?

“Do not fear, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru said in an attempt to assuage his brother’s fears. He raised his head and gazed into Inuyasha’s worried eyes. “I shall not…force my will upon you,” he sighed.

Inuyasha could feel the need in Sesshoumaru, and the determination to control his desire. Sesshoumaru would keep his word, regardless. For some reason, that made him feel safe rather than threatened.

“I love you, brother,” Inuyasha soothed.

Sesshoumaru sighed in relief and laid a gentle kiss on Inuyasha’s lips. “I love you too. Let us bathe.”

Inuyasha grimaced at the thought of moving from his comfortable spot then grunted as Sesshoumaru lifted himself and withdrew. When he rose to a sitting position, his stomach felt like it had been beaten and he felt sick. His legs didn’t want to obey the commands of his brain. His body felt as though it were simultaneously light and heavy which threw him off balance.

Noticing the difficulty Inuyasha was experiencing, Sesshoumaru scooped him up and carried him to the stream.

“Next time, you’re on the bottom,” Inuyasha murmured while smiling up at Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru chuckled. “We shall see.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 ** _Thank you to all who read. Hope you enjoyed the chapter._**

 _ **~*~**_

 _ ***Disclaimer***_

 _Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru._

 

~*~*~*~*~*~


	5. Finding Our Way

~*~

 

 **Chapter Five**

 ** _Finding Our Way_**

 

Stars began to blink out of existence as the faintest rays of the sun leant its light to the darkened sky. Light never failed to chase away the darkness. For Inuyasha, that concept was nothing more than a lie. Somewhere, the darkness was spilling over into another realm. Somewhere, someone was dying, dying because the world thought so little of giving one morsel of happiness.

Though Inuyasha’s eyes were closed, Sesshoumaru could tell he wasn’t asleep. Cushioned deep within his fluffy pelt, he spooned Inuyasha, his arms wrapped tightly around his younger brother. He didn’t want to let go, didn’t want to watch Inuyasha leave for his companions. _‘I should be grateful for this one night.‘_ And, what a glorious night it had been. If only he could stay like this forever, drowning in the scent of ‘His Beautiful One’ and free from his daily burdens. However, that’s not how life was meant to be lived. Relationships were never simple and clean cut. Especially for them.

Sesshoumaru buried his face in Inuyasha’s long mane of white hair and breathed in his brother’s heady scent, reminiscent of the crisp breeze that flew above the trees. _‘The wind on its way to…who knows where. And, if I let him go, where will he go? Will he come back to me, leaping from branch to branch in the highest treetops and drenching himself with the clean scent of the free wind?’_ He swallowed as he sternly repressed the feeling within that seemed uncommonly like hope.

Breath caught in Inuyasha’s throat when Sesshoumaru nuzzled his hair. _‘Damn, I don’t want to leave him, but…how can I stay? I can remember what it was like, and it seems that he wants that again. Hell, I want it again! But, I’ve changed. There’s been so much hate and anger and I…I owe Kikyou and Kagome and…damn. I’m not free. I can’t just leave.’_ He shifted slightly in Sesshoumaru’s arms and pulled away from his brother a bit. _‘Does he really think I’ll just go with him? I’m not a pup anymore.’_

His heart ached from the yearning to have, yet knowing that, in the past, he had never been allowed to keep his heart’s desires. _‘Why should anything be suddenly different now? Wishful thinking.’_ His heart was breaking all over again. Fate would never allow him to forget what he was. He could look, touch, taste, even feel, but never possess what he most needed—love. One day, he would learn to accept it, and that was something that would require giving up much of his humanity. But, not right now, his friends needed a protector. Once his job was finished, he could once again become the heartless half-breed required to live in an ever so cold and empty world.

The mounting tension in Inuyasha’s body disturbed Sesshoumaru. It could not be interpreted as a good omen. Sesshoumaru’s resolve to keep what he had gained, weighed heavily on him as he did his best to devise some way in which to convince Inuyasha to accept their relationship. _‘Perhaps, if I asked little and gave much, there would be a chance?’_ Tentatively, he licked a warm path up the backside of Inuyasha’s left ear.

“Do not believe that you must give up your quest or your friends in order to be with me. I have proven my patience, have I not?” asked Sesshoumaru.

“Yeah, you waited a long time, but did you ever intend to do this? I mean...you didn’t really wait, you just made a decision on the spur of the moment that you wanted me again,” Inuyasha replied without opening his eyes. _‘He could have done this so much sooner.’_

Sesshoumaru thought for a moment. “That is true…to a degree. At times, there was a spark of hope. At others, there was no indication that re-awakening your memories was even a possibility, and therefore, a waste of time to bother contemplating. I learned to expect nothing.”

Inuyasha was silent, staring into nothingness while his mind whispered that it could never be. Despair filled his soul. This would be a failure, too. When would he ever accept his fate?

“I am here,” Sesshoumaru whispered in his hair as he tugged him closer. He understood that Inuyasha needed reassurances.

“How long, Sesshoumaru? How long before you leave just like everyone else?” Inuyasha questioned, knowing that even Sesshoumaru could not predict the future.

“How long would you have me, Inuyasha? I told you that you must make a choice to live for me, or to die for the priestess.”

 _‘And take me with you to the grave,’_ he thought without daring to voice such a thing. It would not do to manipulate and that’s exactly how Inuyasha would see it.

Sesshoumaru continued to make his point. There would be no second chances. He needed reassurances as well.

“I refuse to be a temporary respite in your life. All or nothing. Forever or never. I cannot watch you walk away this day without this decision.”

Inuyasha drew in a deep breath and released it slowly. “I’m afraid,” he whispered with a shudder. “There are too many obstacles for it to work.”

“As am I, but we have all the time in the world,” Sesshoumaru said, attempting to allay Inuyasha’s fears. Though, he wasn’t quite sure of Inuyasha’s lifespan. Surely, he would live much longer than the humans.

“Keh! You? Afraid? That’s hard to imagine,” chuckled Inuyasha, but there was no mirth to be heard.

“Have you no knowledge of the difficulty of even attempting this venture? Do you believe that I would ever love another? My heart is not impermeable, Inuyasha. Why do you believe I have so carefully guarded my emotions? You are rooted inside of me. You are the only one that can harm me. _You_ are my greatest weakness.”

To Inuyasha’s ears, Sesshoumaru seemed to be reprimanding him and he guessed that he deserved it. He didn’t have to like it, though. Sesshoumaru had given to someone else what he had so desperately needed and it rankled.

“Rin is a weakness,” Inuyasha grumbled.

“You are being petty, Inuyasha.”

Now, Sesshoumaru seemed to be angry. Inuyasha wriggled around until he could stare evenly into Sesshoumaru’s eyes. Breath failed him as he gazed into the face of someone he almost didn’t recognize. Sesshoumaru’s beauty could not be disputed. Inuyasha would have never imagined how it had become magnified when crowned with emotion, something so foreign, yet mind-numbingly alluring. He couldn’t help but lift his hand to feel this new creature. Then his memories reminded him that this was not new, simply hidden for centuries, locked away because of him. How Sesshoumaru must have hurt.

 _‘How could he do it, all of these centuries of being so lonely? It has been hard enough for me.’_

He glided the softer, more sensitive backside of his index finger along the velvety stripes adorning Sesshoumaru’s cheeks and observed the pink tint of blood rising to the surface of Sesshoumaru’s skin. The fact that Sesshoumaru could display such emotion was a foreign and fascinating concept. He watched as Sesshoumaru’s eyes slid shut and felt the shuddering breath that rushed between Sesshoumaru’s parted lips. The heat and scent of his breath bathed Inuyasha in memories of their night together and before he knew what he was doing, he had rested his own lips against Sesshoumaru’s; so warm, delicious, and ever so inviting.

 _‘He’s so hypnotizing,’_ Inuyasha thought while he reveled in the warm taste and heady aroma of his long lost lover.

 _‘His memories have returned and I have reasoned with him, made love to him. Yet, he has not made his choice. Perhaps, he needs more time and I am selfish to refuse him time to consider his choices. It has been so long, so long. I never want to be without him again. It can’t be helped. Perhaps...to keep him, I must let him go. Must I be the one to make all the concessions…Yes, it is too new to him.’_

Pain seared up through Inuyasha’s abdomen as his chest and throat constricted.

 _‘What the hell was that?’_ Inuyasha thought as he pulled away and looked down at Sesshoumaru whose eyes had taken on their familiar blank expression.

“You must leave, Inuyasha. Dawn approaches and your companions will soon rise.”

There was no emotion in that voice, or in Sesshoumaru’s face, and Inuyasha could feel his heart speed up at the unwanted thought of leaving his lover. He sat up, furrowing his brow in consternation as Sesshoumaru’s eyes closed. Once again, he felt that pain rise through him.

 _‘Sesshoumaru! It’s you isn’t it? Shit! This is what you are feeling!’_ Inuyasha’s eyes widened as he stared down with incredulity at the seemingly unaffected façade his brother was wearing. _‘Why am I feeling these things? What...what happened to me? Sesshoumaru...’_

Even the pulse of the large vein in Sesshoumaru’s neck was steady. _‘It is all an illusion. Has it always been? He’s in so much pain. I can’t leave him here…alone.’_ No, not now, now that he knew. He wasn’t just a passing fancy for Sesshoumaru, a curiosity, or an experiment. Sesshoumaru really did love him. Was this also an intense need he was feeling, an insatiable craving? It didn’t really matter what definition was used, he knew. Sesshoumaru would never leave him. It was Sesshoumaru’s life within Inuyasha that ripped away the veil covering Sesshoumaru’s outward appearance, revealing him in a way that Inuyasha could barely fathom.

“Sesshoumaru,” whispered Inuyasha as he slid back down beside his brother and placed his lips over the mark he had planted on Sesshoumaru’s shoulder. He felt the trembling beneath him as his tongue slid out to bathe the mark and he couldn’t bring himself to stop there. His lips trailed up the line of Sesshoumaru’s neck, his fangs gently scraping along the way.

“Brother,” he murmured into Sesshoumaru’s ear as he nibbled along the outer shell. “I love you.”

Sesshoumaru groaned as his heart slammed against his chest. _‘Has Inuyasha chosen?’_ He opened his eyes and gazed through a curtain of white as he felt Inuyasha’s arms embrace him. When Inuyasha’s lips found their way to his, he closed his eyes again. Tender kisses fluttered over his forehead, eyelids, and cheeks. When the kisses stopped, he looked up to find Inuyasha, a mixture of emotions staining his face, staring down at him. He was comforted in the knowledge that the most prominent was love.

 _‘So what if it doesn’t last forever. I have this now. I’ll survive if it comes to an end. I always do,’_ Inuyasha thought to himself, his resolve to allow himself this one risk strengthening.

“I don’t ever want to leave you, Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha barely whispered before swooping down and taking Sesshoumaru in a soul-rending kiss. “Ever,” he moaned into Sesshoumaru’s mouth.

The knowledge that Inuyasha had chosen him overwhelmed Sesshoumaru and freed his passion. He growled as he grabbed Inuyasha and rolled onto his back to drape Inuyasha’s body over him. He embraced Inuyasha then swept his hands along Inuyasha’s back, sides, bottom, and legs as he lost himself to the sweet warmth of Inuyasha’s mouth. Someone whimpered. At first, he had thought it had been Inuyasha then realized it had been him. His display didn’t matter. He had what he wanted, what he needed. _’He is mine to keep. To hell with pretenses.’_

As though having heard his thoughts, Inuyasha drew away and spoke, “Yours…forever.”

Sesshoumaru’s heart thudded against his chest so hard that he thought he would die. He was being overwhelmed. Everything, everything he had experienced had been worth it. Then Inuyasha was on him, nibbling and suckling the line of his jaw, the column of his throat, and the shell of his ear until he cried out in desire and need.

“Inuyasha!”

Sesshoumaru heard the whine that escaped Inuyasha’s throat before he was straddled by Inuyasha. Warm kisses made their way across his collar bone and down his chest. When Inuyasha’s lips surrounded his right nipple, his body went mad with sparking heat, bucking and writhing with each suckle, flick, and nip. He was given no time to breathe before Inuyasha attacked the other pink nub. A moan vibrated his flesh, bringing his own throaty groan. Skin slid against his now weeping arousal as Inuyasha made his way downward. Fangs scraped along the skin of Sesshoumaru’s abdomen, trailing sharp lines of fire.

Inuyasha was not wasting his time. He wanted to taste his brother, to devour him, and to give Sesshoumaru the pleasure that Sesshoumaru had always given him. It was time for Sesshoumaru to be on the receiving end, for Inuyasha to demonstrate just how much he loved his sibling. There would be no distracting ear licking today. He rose up and for the first time really examined the proof of Sesshoumaru’s gender. It was so thick that he couldn’t believe that his body had actually accommodated it. He trailed his fingers down the shaft, noticing the soft texture despite the hardness. It jolted beneath his touch and Sesshoumaru arched his neck, throwing his head back as he groaned. Inuyasha smiled at Sesshoumaru’s response. It bolstered his confidence and wrapped his fingers around the length. That extra bit of velvety pale skin rolled down the shaft as he stroked, completely exposing the tip, rose hued with the flush of blood.

While he swirled his fingers in the clear fluid seeping from the slit at the tip of Sesshoumaru’s appendage, Inuyasha watched the many expressions of pleasure that graced Sesshoumaru’s features. The muscles in Sesshoumaru’s jaws clenched, his unseeing eyes were hooded, his lips parted and swollen, and his chest heaved as though he were starving for air. A satisfied smirk spread across Inuyasha’s lips. He was doing well and there was more to come.

 _‘So this is what it feels like to give another pleasure without taking it in return,’_ Inuyasha thought while enthralled with the beauty of Sesshoumaru’s appearance in the throes of passion.

He never took his eyes from Sesshoumaru’s face when he leaned down to taste that salty fluid and found the flesh surprisingly smooth and hot against his tongue. Pulling that extra bit of skin back, he ran his tongue around the smoothest surface he had ever felt. The taste of Sesshoumaru was enough to push him to the edge, but he held himself back. There was too much left undone. Sesshoumaru’s back bowed with a grunt as Inuyasha slid his lips over the tip and proceed down the shaft, but only partially. It was something he would need to work up to, never having done such a thing before. Yes, they had been lovers as young adults, but had never taken things beyond a certain point. And it had always been Sesshoumaru who took the steps to bring about their mutual satisfaction. Oh, Inuyasha had touched him, had encouraged Sesshoumaru’s release, but had never been the aggressor. Never had he gone so far as Sesshoumaru.

Inuyasha drew back to swirl his tongue around the tip before taking more of Sesshoumaru’s length into his mouth and almost gagged when Sesshoumaru’s hips bolted from the ground. He looked up to find Sesshoumaru’s arms drawn up, his hands fisted while laying on top of the mass of silver, tangled hair framing his face and shoulders. As Inuyasha slid back down again, he could see the muscles in Sesshoumaru’s arms and torso harden and flex from shoving his knuckles back into the ground and arching his back. When Inuyasha drew back up along Sesshoumaru‘s erection, he suckled and squeezed his throat muscles in order to provide as much friction as possible. To his delight, Sesshoumaru nearly rose off the ground.

“Inuyasha, please,” Sesshoumaru gasped in want and intense need.

Inuyasha looked at him quizzically before pulling completely away from Sesshoumaru’s throbbing member. He was presented with a groan of displeasure, but he quickly wrapped his hand around Sesshoumaru’s shaft as he let his lips trail down to the hardened bulges beneath. He licked and suckled each side, occasionally trailing his tongue through the crease between Sesshoumaru’s pelvis and thighs. It was a delightful sight, Sesshoumaru writhing and, it was all because of him. At one point, he had to grip Sesshoumaru’s hips to hold him down so that his fangs wouldn’t accidentally puncture the delicate skin.

When fire shot through his veins, Sesshoumaru’s skin felt as though it would peel away from his body . It wasn’t just the physical contact that was sending him higher, but the fact that Inuyasha was the one passionately loving him. He thought it couldn’t get any better until Inuyasha shoved his legs apart wider then tugged at the seam separating the two jewels that had become tightened bulges between his thighs.

Inuyasha didn’t stop there. No, he had learned a thing or two from Sesshoumaru last night. He allowed his tongue to slide lower, to that tight ring guarding the passage to that one place Inuyasha had never before explored. He made certain to be slow, gentle, and careful so that Sesshoumaru would have time to become accustomed to this new sensation.

At first, Sesshoumaru was apprehensive. No one had ever touched him there. No one would dare. But this was his lover and he needed to trust.

Inuyasha’s tunneled fist glided with languid strokes along Sesshoumaru‘s shaft, squeezing the tip on the way up, distracting Sesshoumaru while his tongue probed Sesshoumaru’s entrance and occasionally swept up the thin seam of flesh.

 _‘This is what it felt like for him, why he never asked for more from me. Just making him writhe and moan is enough to nearly make me come,’_ thought Inuyasha as Sesshoumaru’s every moan, whimper and shudder caused him to ache with nearly unbearable need.

Sesshoumaru unconsciously parted his legs further, drawing them up to allow Inuyasha better access. He never imagined that he would allow someone to do this, nor had he pondered how wonderful it would feel; so unbelievably erotic, tantalizing, and inflaming. For Inuyasha, he would free himself; give up everything. Only for Inuyasha.

The world seemed to explode with color when Sesshoumaru felt Inuyasha’s mouth glide down his shaft while a finger playfully nudged at his entrance. It felt odd, but incredibly pleasurable, most likely because of Inuyasha’s previous warm tongue lathing.

Though Inuyasha wanted nothing more than to hear Sesshoumaru scream his name in release, he wanted every step to be nothing but pleasure. So he took his time, teasing and taunting Sesshoumaru’s body, his own aching need happily neglected while he felt and watched Sesshoumaru tremble beneath his finger’s gentle torture.

When Sesshoumaru’s length hardened to that stage where the skin was so taut that the coursing blood could be felt as it ran through the veins, Inuyasha became a bit concerned that Sesshoumaru would give him no sign that he was ready. Nevertheless, he forged ahead, carefully slipping his index finger through the tight portal and into the hot welcoming walls of Sesshoumaru’s body. There was no resistance, a sign of a job well done. Inuyasha knew from his experience with Sesshoumaru that the fingers are not near as smooth and sleek as the shaft he intended to replace them with, so he was gentle and determined not to take as little time as possible to properly prepare his lover.

It was almost too much for Sesshoumaru to contain himself. His body felt as though it stood in the center of the flaming sun; his muscles aching with the tension begging to be released. Everything burned almost painfully.

“Inuyasha!” he distantly heard himself cry out as his body accepted the digit that had promised fulfillment, yet his body silently screamed out to him for more. And Inuyasha obliged, inserting another finger, stroking the inner core of his now overly sensitized body. He could have sworn that every nerve ending was on the verge of exploding as Inuyasha slowly slid his fingers inward, withdrawing with the same torturous crawl. Then Inuyasha did something that had him standing at the edge of a cliff, ready to leap into that oblivion where the world disappears and all that is left is sensation. Inuyasha shoved hard into him, hitting a spot that sent chills up his spine that spread to the rest of his body and sent him writhing into bitterly frozen flames of fire.

Inuyasha was surprised at Sesshoumaru’s reaction and he hoped he could see it again. As he dipped his head to take the full length of Sesshoumaru into his throat, he once again shoved his fingers into Sesshoumaru, hoping to hit that spongy spot that had brought Sesshoumaru’s body off the ground.

“No more, Inuyasha! Stop…now,” Sesshoumaru gasped, reeling from the onslaught of such penetrating, earth shattering pleasure. Through the wash of pleasure inundating his body, he could barely breathe. “I can’t…”

Instinctively, Inuyasha knew what Sesshoumaru needed. He removed his fingers and gave Sesshoumaru’s pulsating member one last suckle then licked the tip that was now dripping freely the signature of approaching release. The wanton writhing of Sesshoumaru’s body would have been too enticing to stop his ministrations, but Inuyasha wanted to give Sesshoumaru more before it was too late to fulfill that desire.

Lust clouded Sesshoumaru’s vision, but not so much that he couldn’t see the corded muscles rolling beneath Inuyasha’s skin when the well-muscled body made a slithering crawl up his body, Inuyasha’s tongue searing a path up his abdomen along the way. What a sight he made. He appeared as some predatory beast, about to devour his prey. Yet, at the same moment, there was a softness in his hooded eyes. Inuyasha was magnificent.

Inuyasha paused to suckle Sesshoumaru’s hardened nipples and he allowed his abdomen to sink into the thick hardened arousal of Sesshoumaru’s aching need. He was rewarded with a moan and the lift of Sesshoumaru’s hips. Sesshoumaru’s wet essence slid along Inuyasha’s flesh as Inuyasha’s tongue moved to lathe the column of Sesshoumaru’s extended throat.

Sesshoumaru never dreamed that he could endure such wondrous torture, but he had managed. However, he knew he could wait no longer as Inuyasha’s heated arousal settled between his thighs. Fisting his hands in Inuyasha’s thick white mane, he drew the young man’s lips to his own, devouring and plundering the juices of that sweet, wet warmth while he ground his hips upward. It never occurred to him, that he was begging; silently, wordlessly.

The promise of more when Sesshoumaru crushed them together froze Inuyasha’s muscles into an aching mass of desire to be inside the heated depths of his lover. Nevertheless, his determination to see this through without causing Sesshoumaru pain tempered his actions and he forced himself to relax. He allowed all of his weight to freely fall onto Sesshoumaru and buried his hands into Sesshoumaru’s silky tresses. When his hips rotated to find the exact position to enter, he crushed his lips to Sesshoumaru’s mouth and dug his tongue into its roof then, in a carefully measured glide, slipped through the gates of heaven. The tight friction of Sesshoumaru’s body nearly brought his aching flesh over the edge, so much so that he had to remain still in order to catch his breath and let the intensity subside.

“It feels so…incredible,” panted Sesshoumaru. Though the initial pressure had been uncomfortable, it had quickly changed to some fulfilling and satisfying. This was a much more powerful joining than he‘d ever experienced. “Is this…what it feels like for you?”

“I hope you feel as much, brother,” Inuyasha replied. _‘I’m glad he didn’t complain or stop me.’_

“Make love to me, my beautiful one,” Sesshoumaru murmured as he cupped Inuyasha’s face in the palms of his two hands and tenderly ran his tongue over Inuyasha’s bottom lip.

Inuyasha took great care in lifting his hips, gritting his teeth as Sesshoumaru’s walls gripped him when he drew back. He couldn’t help the groan deep within his chest, no more than Sesshoumaru could help the whine that escaped his lips as his head fell back onto his fluffy white pelt. That simultaneously hot and cold, spine tingling fire once again shot through his body when Inuyasha thrust into his willing flesh.

“More,” he gasped, not quite sure what that meant.

However, Inuyasha knew. He withdrew himself again and without pause, shoved himself back in and pushed Sesshoumaru’s body up the pelt as he buried himself deep into the gripping fire of his brother’s searing chamber. A shudder racked him from the tips of his velvet ears to tips of his clawed toes. This was what Sesshoumaru had needed; deep and forceful penetration.

“Sess, I…can’t stop now,” he muttered then pulled away and rammed himself into Sesshoumaru.

“Then don’t,” gasped Sesshoumaru through the haze of the oncoming decimation of orgasm.

Sesshoumaru slid his left hand down Inuyasha’s back. The feel of muscles undulating under the skin of the globes of Inuyasha’s bottom only sped Sesshoumaru toward oblivion. Having Inuyasha inside of him was odd. His entire body seemed to filled with Inuyasha. The jarring of the movement only added to the tingling need in his muscles. All he wanted was more, more friction, more pressure.

Inuyasha’s thrusts became more urgent and Sesshoumaru grabbed Inuyasha’s left hand with his right and guided it to his aching erection. He threw his head back as purely animal sounds escaped him when Inuyasha’s fingers wrapped around his aching member. With the combination of Inuyasha’s thrusts filling him repeatedly while he guided Inuyasha’s hand up and down his length, he knew his skin had to be peeling away in layers. He could swear that he could feel the fluids of his body drift into the air as liquid heat.

The heat of Sesshoumaru’s depths surrounding and gliding along Inuyasha’s now most sensitive organ burned his blood and turned his quivering ears the color of a blushing, crimson rose. With each thrust, each slippery glide along the flesh of Sesshoumaru’s walls, the fire in his body burned hotter until he felt as though he were made of flame. The world blurred around the edges as he gazed into the lidded eyes of his unseeing brother. And Inuyasha had done this to his brother. He had brought Sesshoumaru to this place; this place that Sesshoumaru had always reserved for him. This was the moment he wanted to watch, the moment all of his work would draw Sesshoumaru into flight with him.

Sesshoumaru felt his eyelids drifting closed as his golden orbs slid upward. He no longer had any control over his own body. He had surrendered it to his brother. Soon all barriers would crumble and they would breathe as one, feel as one, and finally, be one. Freedom from the centuries of inner confinement was within his grasp.

Inuyasha’s body was working on instinct alone as his hips rigidly tipped upward, seeking that one last rush of flesh against flesh that would release that building, aching tension. Inadvertently, the new angle he had achieved hit that spot deep within Sesshoumaru and a howl split the air. Sesshoumaru shuddered and stiffened before Inuyasha slammed into that spot again.

Inuyasha forced his eyes to stay open as Sesshoumaru snapped, convulsing beneath him. With his neck arched at a sharp angle, jaws slack and barely opened eyes, Sesshoumaru lost all concepts of space and time. Complete abandon. Only the pure sensation of exploding atoms were discernable to what was left of his consciousness.

This was the reason Inuyasha had held himself in check and it was well worth it. He watched as Sesshoumaru became utterly and completely a slave to the pleasure of his touch. Triumph coursed through him. He was satisfied and could now let go. As the ebb and flow of Sesshoumaru’s orgasm gripped him, Inuyasha slowed his thrusts, burying himself deeper, borrowing Sesshoumaru’s pleasure until it drew him along and slingshot him over the divide separating them. With a howl he joined his lover in an explosion of ecstasy that he had never before experienced. Euphoria captured him and had its way for what seemed an eternity until he finally collapsed, sinking into the still heaving body of Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru twitched, squeezing from Inuyasha a mewl as his body responded in kind.

Gasps faded to pants and gradually their breathing became steady. Though their hands were slicked with Sesshoumaru’s essence, they embraced as though someone was trying to pull them apart. Now, they could rest in the knowledge that, no matter what, they would never be separated again.

“I love you, Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha whispered against Sesshoumaru’s chest as his ear flicked beneath Sesshoumaru’s chin.

“And I you,” murmured Sesshoumaru before twining his legs around Inuyasha’s and blowing his warm breath into Inuyasha’s ear.

“Tease,” Inuyasha chuckled.

“You cannot deny that you enjoy it, my beautiful one,” said Sesshoumaru with a light smile gracing the lips that were still a bit swollen from the passionate loving they had received.

Inuyasha felt his heart skip as the unbidden thought of leaving to join his companions entered his mind. Involuntarily, he clutched Sesshoumaru tighter.

The meaning of Inuyasha’s behavior was not lost on Sesshoumaru as he and Inuyasha were now two halves of one whole.

“Do not fret, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru murmured reassuringly. “If not in body, then in spirit, we will always be together.”

Inuyasha nodded and lifted his head to kiss Sesshoumaru beneath his chin. Except for his sigh, he fell into silence, only broken by the ritual morning chatter of awakening birds.

“Aren’t you going to make me promise to never forget?” Inuyasha asked after some time had passed.

“There is no need,” Sesshoumaru replied.

Inuyasha smiled and nuzzled his face into Sesshoumaru’s neck.

“Truly, your companions must be stirring by now,” Sesshoumaru whispered, running his hands in comforting circles on Inuyasha’s back. His heart ached with the idea of Inuyasha leaving, but it was necessary.

“Yeah,” Inuyasha muttered under his breath.

Quietly, they bathed then dressed.

“When will I see you again?” Inuyasha asked, hoping it would be soon.

“Tomorrow night?” Sesshoumaru offered.

A grin stretched across Inuyasha’s face. “Tomorrow night,” he affirmed, nodding his head.

Sesshoumaru reached out and cradled Inuyasha’s chin in the palm of his hand then leaned down. Their mouths met in a tender press of lips. Inuyasha reached up with his right hand and caressed Sesshoumaru’s cheek as he parted his lips to welcome his lover. Their tongues caressed one another as they took one last taste, a promise of things to come.

Home was in that kiss.

As they each turned and began down their separate paths, Sesshoumaru turned.

“Inuyasha,” he called.

Inuyasha looked over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

“Promise you will never forget,” Sesshoumaru instructed with as much seriousness he could muster.

Inuyasha gave him a rare smile. “I will never forget, Sessy. I told you, I love you.”

Sesshoumaru nodded, barely keeping the corners of his mouth from turning up into a slight smile.

“Until then, my beautiful one.”

Sesshoumaru turned and disappeared into the trees as though he were still the apparition that had haunted Inuyasha’s dreams.

And Inuyasha hoped he would never wake up.

 

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 ** _THE END_**

 _ **Thank you to all who read. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.**_

 _ **~*~**_

 _ ***Disclaimer***_

 _Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru._

 

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